Jewish World Review Oct. 27, 2005 / 24 Tishrei, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Michael Jordan gave an interview to CBS' 60 Minutes Sunday
night in which he adamantly denied that he has a gambling problem.
He said he has a competitiveness problem. It's everybody favorite
joke at Gamblers Anonymous and he tells it so well.
Michael Jordan was interviewed by CBS' 60 Minutes Sunday and
insisted he does not have a gambling problem. He can deny his
sickness all he likes but nobody beats the house odds. Al Gore was
the only American ever to quit while he was ahead.
The Simpsons TV show was introduced to Mideast countries on
Arab stations Sunday. It is edited for cultural reasons. Homer is
named Omar, he drinks soda instead of beer, and the nuclear power
plant where he works is disguised as a baby milk factory.
Bill Clinton spoke in Toronto and Calgary last week to huge
crowds who paid a thousand dollars apiece to see him. He loves
going to Canada. They agree with his social philosophy up there
and it gives him a chance to see his old war buddies.
Bill Clinton announced Thursday he will join with the
Nickelodeon TV network in a new campaign to persuade kids to eat
healthier foods. Is this a good idea? The last time he told a
young person what to put in her mouth all hell broke loose.
Al Pacino was honored for his career at a banquet in Beverly
Hills Friday. He's played a mobster, a mayor, a revolutionary, a
cokehead, a sex addict and the devil. For thirty years the
Democratic nomination for president has been his for the asking.
Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan said glowing things Monday about
his replacement, Ben Bernanke. He's not retiring by any means.
Today Alan Greenspan receives the Harry S. Truman Medal for
Economic Policy and with this award generally comes a lucrative
The London Times reported Monday that a dead parrot turned
up in Britain with the bird flu virus. The same day, a dead duck
in Sweden showed the same thing. This is the first Thanksgiving
where Americans will pray after they eat the turkey.
ABC's Commander in Chief show was accused of being a fantasy
Hillary presidency by conservatives on Monday. That may be true.
In next week's episode, global warming threatens to break up the
ice shelf, but she and her husband manage to stay together for the
sake of their careers.
Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers was endorsed by Texas lawyers Monday. It is true that some lawyers are ruthless, amoral, greedy and dishonest. However, it's very unfair to judge an entire profession by a few hundred thousand bad apples.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton