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Jewish World Review Oct. 19, 2004 / 4 Mar-Cheshvan, 5765

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | Bill Clinton revealed Friday he's still not well enough to campaign for John Kerry and make speeches, shake hands and make friends. It's kind of sad. Like the Viagra commercial says, what happened to the guy everybody used to call Wild Thing?

Michael J. Fox did a campaign ad to say John Kerry favors stem cell research and President Bush doesn't. Science is definitely an issue this election. It's only fourteen more days before the Chaos Theory kicks in and all hell breaks loose.

John Kerry in Ohio Saturday purchased a hunting license at a grocery store in Buchanan. He announced he plans to go hunting this week. It's a fair warning to all the Vietnamese in the area to skip the Sierra Club hike until the coast is clear.

John Kerry campaigned door-to-door in rural Ohio on Saturday wearing brown corduroy pants and a mustard-colored sports jacket. The grass is always yellower on the other side. He secretly dreams of leaving his wife to marry Teresa French's.

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