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Jewish World Review Oct. 5, 2004 / 20 Tishrei, 5765

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports
And now for the
important news .... | Terry Bradshaw on NFL Sunday cracked a joke about Kentucky being a backwards state. Who's he to talk? For years whenever Terry Bradshaw stepped on the rubber mat going into the supermarket and the door opened, he thought it was a coincidence.

The Cotton Bowl will host the brawl between the Texas Longhorns and Oklahoma Sooners Saturday. For the students it's a lost weekend of boozing and brawling and riots and hotel room damage. It teaches college kids that life isn't all romance.

Democrats said Sunday they believe that President Bush is planning an October Surprise. Imagine the jump in the polls if he produced Osama bin Laden in handcuffs. To offset that, the Democrats would have to produce Bill Clinton in handcuffs.

The New York Times issued a glowing account of John Kerry's physical fitness Sunday. In addition to windsurfing, bicycling and weightlifting, he was a karate black belt as a young man. The first time he ever saluted he nearly killed himself.

Chicago Mayor Richard Daley said Sunday he favors easing city marijuana laws so offenders can just get tickets. Right on schedule. The week after the annual Cubs collapse is when the demand for pain medication overwhelms local law enforcement.

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