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Jewish World Review Oct. 15, 2003 / 19 Tishrei, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | China announced Thursday it plans to launch its first manned spacecraft this week which will orbit the earth fourteen times before splashing down. It looks so much like the old Mercury capsule, they even have Tang aboard. He's the co-pilot.

The Dallas Cowboys won their fourth game in five starts Sunday, defeating the Eagles. They hardly ever win in Philadelphia. There was a time when half the team would be busted the night before the game trying to buy crack from the Liberty Bell.

Howard Dean accused Dick Gephardt and John Kerry of collaborating to destroy him. He's got a good nose. If Dick Gephardt and John Kerry had acted any more friendly during the

U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan refused Friday to assist the U.S. and British in Iraq until we share power. It's another case of racial profiling. Have you ever noticed it's always the English-speaking peoples who get pulled over for colonialism?

Shiite Muslims by the hundreds of thousands had a festival in Karbala Sunday. It got dangerous at one point. When the mullahs called for the killing of the unfaithful it was like telling every trophy wife in Houston to warm up the Mercedes.

The British Medical Journal Lancet reported on Friday that drinking red wine lowers your chances of heart disease and significantly reduces your cholesterol levels. That's the good news. The bad news is, you have to pour it on your Cheerios.

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