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Jewish World Review Sept. 12, 2019 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Oklahoma's federal court ruling holding Big Pharma responsible for opioid abuse could spell the end for other medications. Pfizer has discontinued making Corex cough syrup for fear of product abuse. If you're not supposed to abuse cough syrup, then why does it come with a shot glass?
• The Wall Street Journal reports the Justice Department is set to watch acquisitions closely for anti-trust violations. Hasbro Toys just bought Death Row Records. Mr. Potato Head now has new accessories, including neck tattoos, automatic weapons and his choice of a red or blue headband.
• The Coast Guard halted a cocaine-filled mini-sub bound for L.A. Friday, indicating the nation's continuing demand for the drug. A woman in Florida told the cops Monday that the wind blew the cocaine into her purse. If that's possible then West Hollywood is under a tornado warning tonight.
• The New York Post reported new pressure on the healthcare industry after a report came out last week saying that two hundred thousand Americans die accidentally under medical care. You couldn't make it up. You're safer on the streets of Chicago than you are in Chicago General Hospital.
• President Trump pronounced dead the peace talks he'd planned to hold personally with the leaders of the Taliban after they staged an attack in Kabul. The terrorists have admitted the attack was a mistake. As a show of good will, the Taliban just offered to send peacekeepers to Chicago.
• Aviation Weekly reports that airlines are seriously considering weighing passengers to be able to estimate the amount of fuel the trip requires. I guess they'll board in three sections, First Class, Coach and USDA. The worst part is weighing in and then having your boarding pass stamped Cargo.
• National Football League executives were stunned Sunday by the sparse fan attendance at the home opening games in Carolina, Miami and Cleveland. It looked pathetic. CNN reasoned that their stadiums were half-empty because fans are protesting that no one has signed Colin Kaepernick.
• President Trump confirmed he got the Taliban leaders to come to Camp David for peace talks Monday. He called it off due to a terror attack. You know, Trump's biggest accomplishment may be getting radical Islamists like the Taliban to agree to come to a camp named David in the first place.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2018, Argus Hamilton |
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