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Jewish World Review Sept. 16, 2014 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Bill Clinton and George W. Bush spoke onstage together at the Newseum in Washington Tuesday to launch a scholarship program. They have a great act. George W. Bush talks about the importance of faith and family for thirty minutes and then Bill Clinton delivers the rebutttal.
• South Africa's Olympic star Oscar Pistorious was found guilty of culpable homicide in the shooting death of his girlfriend model Reeva Steenkamp Friday. He admitted he accidentally shot her four times through the bathroom door. The judge sentenced him to five years in the NFL.
• CBS opened Thursday's NFL game with a lecture to men about spousal abuse. It's over the top. San Diego Chargers linebacker Mante Teo was videotaped shadow-boxing while he jogged on the beach Friday and the NFL suspended him six games for slugging his imaginary girlfriend.
• Roger Goodell told CBS he never saw the video of Ray Rice hitting his fiancee but the cops said they sent the video to the NFL commissioner's office last April. There's an innocent explanation. The video got buried in a stack of other videos of NFL players doing illegal things.
• NFL star Adrian Peterson was indicted for reckless and negligent injury to a child Friday. The NFL's had child abuse, spousal battery and a sexual assault suit in one week. The longer O.J. Simpson sits in prison, the less he looks like a criminal and the more he looks like a trailblazer.
• The White House said President Obama won't be campaigning for Democratic U.S. Senate candidates in the South because it might hurt their chances to win. It's the polls. President Obama's latest approval numbers are so low that his new Secret Service code name is Congress.
• President Obama went on prime time television on Wednesday to announce the United States will lead an international coalition of nations to fight the terror groups in Iraq. The ratings were low. Most people switched off after a minute thinking they were watching a rerun.
• President Obama was denied playing privileges at Winged Foot Golf Club in Westchester on Labor Day because the club didn't want to inconvenience the members. So some good came out of it. The EPA just named Westchester as the site of America's new Strategic Gopher Reserve.
• U.S. News and World Report revealed that a federal judge has halted Detroit's bankrupcty proceeding because a settlement's near. That's good news. Detroit is so broke that to raise money for municipal services the mayor is sending out e-mails claiming to be a Nigerian prince.
• Senate Democrats vowed to take action to further ease the burden of college loans on U.S. college grads. The college loan program is helping to inspire a new generation of Americans. Forty percent of college kids in a new poll said when they graduate they want to be loan sharks.
• The Mars Curiosity Rover finally made it to Mt. Sharp Friday two years after a spacecraft landed the rover on the Red Planet. That's the destination point. It took the Mars Curiosity Rover two years to travel five miles, making it by far the fastest government project in existence.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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