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Jewish World Review Sept. 8, 2014 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Islamic State of Iraq known as ISIS changed its name to the Islamic State of the Levant or ISIL since it sounds grander. Rap stars do it. Last year, Snoop Dogg tried to upgrade his image by changing his name to Snoop Lion and the next day Ice-T changed his name to Arnold Palmer.
• Detroit police arrested thirty protesters who blocked the entrance to a McDonald's Thursday seeking wage increases. It sparks a lot of jealousy. NATO leaders never invite Vladimir Putin to their meeting because he's the only one who can get breakfast at McDonald's after ten-thirty.
• President Obama attended a NATO conference in Wales Thursday where he personally guaranteed continued U.S. commitment in the defense of our NATO allies. The NATO conference was held at Europe's western-most edge. You figure he beat the Russians there by three weeks.
• President Obama visited a grade school in Wales during a NATO conference break along with Prime Minister David Cameron on Thursday. The president is in defense talks with Western and Central Europe's leaders. Vladimir Putin wasn't invited but that's never stopped him before.
• The Seattle Seahawks hosted the Packers Thursday in the NFL season opener. Protocols were changed. Normally President Obama conducts the pre-game coin flip from the Oval Office, but this isn't the week for the president to be smiling for cameras while somebody yells, heads!
• Texas GOP Senator Ted Cruz fired up a conservative convention in Dallas on Wednesday with a tub-thumping speech on Middle East policy. He drew cheers when he proposed bombing ISIS all the way back to the Stone Age. Fine, but what does that set them back, fifteen minutes?
• President Obama cowrote an editorial with David Cameron in the London Times calling for a stand against ISIS. ISIS holds ground in Syria, Iraq, Kurdistan and even threatens Iran. The good news is, ISIS is so spread out that it's impossible to invade he wrong country this time.
• Tripoli Airport in Libya was burned to the ground by Islamic terrorists and now a dozen airliners are missing. The terrorists must have them. It's against the law for Malaysian Airlines to make a dozen airliners disappear in a day without belonging to the Magicians Union.
• Al-Qaeda announced Friday it's set up terror cells in India to overthrow Hindu rule. They are devious. Last week, al-Qaeda took over a call center in Kashmir that happens to handle calls for a suicide prevention hotline, and now the operators ask every caller if they can drive a truck.
• Attorney General Eric Holder opened an investigation into the pattern of conduct by cops in Ferguson, Missouri. The situation isn't calmed at all by the constant carping of race baiters. Al Sharpton accuses anyone who gets their teeth whitened of committing mouth gentrification.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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