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Jewish World Review Sept. 9, 2013 / 5 Tishrei, 5774 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• President Obama canceled a fundraiser in Hollywood this week to lobby Congress to approve his Syria attack. Think of the money the president could have raised. Barack Obama's Nobel Peace Prize would have been the funniest gag gift anybody ever auctioned.
• President Obama jousted with Vladimir Putin over an attack on Syria Friday. There's really no need to drop bombs. If President Obama really wanted to destroy Syria, he'd drop his economic advisors on the country and in six weeks we'd have them on their knees.
• The Marijuana Policy Project rented a billboard at Mile High Stadium ripping the NFL for promoting drinking. It's a point to ponder. If players smoked pot instead of drank. the murders committed by NFL players would be limited to anyone within range of their couch.
• Teresa Heinz Kerry sat behind John Kerry as he testified in Congress Tuesday. John married Teresa six months after her billionaire husband Senator John Heinz died in a plane crash. These are the kind of reflexes we need in a man in charge of U.S. foreign policy.
• The NFL season opener in Denver was delayed by threat of lightning Thursday. NBC analysts stood on the field holding microphones attached to electrical outlets and clutching metal umbrellas as they dismissed the danger of lightning strikes. Whenever people from Los Angeles visit cities where they have real weather, comedy's sure to follow.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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