|
|
|
Jewish World Review Sept. 25, 2012 / 9 Tishrei, 5773 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
O.J. Simpson's houseguest Kato Kaelin said Thursday that O.J. did indeed kill his wife, Nicole Brown. He was a national joke during his time on the witness stand because he lived in O.J.'s guest house for free. Everybody now agrees Kato was a man ahead of his time.
The Obama campaign website offered donors an altered American flag with an O in the box in place of the fifty stars Thursday. Everyone's offended by them. They ran one up the flagpole at a U.S. Embassy in the Middle East and the Muslims refused to burn it.
Congress adjourned until November Friday following a session in which they passed nothing. They got no budget deal. Congress is perfectly aware America's going over the fiscal cliff, and they've agreed to authorize a five-dollar bill with Grace Kelly's portrait on it.
Joe Biden's speech in Charlotte was the highest-rated speech of either the GOP or the Democratic conventions. It's no secret why. The week before, Joe accused the GOP of trying to bring back slavery and Americans wanted to know where they can sell their kids.
Tim Tebow told Vogue magazine Friday he wants to marry a beautiful-looking woman with a servant's heart. This kind of woman is easy to find. Tim can offer her financial security, citizenship through marriage, and paid transportation from Saudi Arabia.
Pakistani crowds stormed the U.S. embassy in Islamabad Friday in a national holiday called Love the Prophet Day. It's gotten ridiculous. The West is so sensitive about making fun of Mohammed that Comedy Central just called off its roast of Willie Nelson.
U.S. Congresswoman Maxine Waters was cleared by the Ethics Committee of getting money for her husband's bank. She threw her grandson overboard to save herself. It's working so well with Social Security, she thought she'd try it with the Ethics Committee.
Bank of America announced plans Thursday to cut sixteen thousand jobs and close two hundred branch locations. They're trying to cut costs due to expenses. The employees didn't so much mind getting the pink slip as they did the ten-dollar pink slip service charge.
The Pentagon was cited in a report Friday for failing to spend money that's allocated to register U.S. soldiers overseas to vote. It's highly controversial. The Obama administration isn't urging soldiers to vote unless they can prove they were born in Mexico.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
Columnists
Toons
Lifestyles | |||||||||||
