Jewish World Review Sept. 27, 2012/ 11 Tishrei, 5773
Obama Picks Up a Crucial Demographic
By Bernard Goldberg
Not because of that New York Times/CBS News poll that showed him trailing President Obama in Ohio and Florida by a lot. Romney supporters have already written off the poll saying it's over-weighted with Democrats.
No, Romney is in trouble because an important American icon has endorsed the president. And not just any important American icon, but a classy, sophisticated, sweetie pie American icon of the female persuasion who is admired and respected my millions of American women a demographic, as we all know, that is crucially important to any candidate who wants to win.
So who is this woman who alone can swing this election? Madonna. Who else?
This is huge, which I will explain right after you read Madonna's endorsement, which she made at her concert in Washington, D.C. Rarely has a star been so eloquent. Here are Madonna's exact words.
"And now it is so amazing and incredible to think that we have an African-American in the White House. Y'all better vote for fking Obama, OK? For better or for worse, all right?"
The crowd cheered. Who wouldn't? And when the adoration died down, Madonna continued.
"We have a black Muslim in the White House!" she said. "Now that is some sh*t. That is amazing sh*t. It means there is hope in this country."
Frankly, I did not know that Barack Obama was a black Muslim. I thought only delusional morons on the Right thought he was. But I guess I was wrong.
After the endorsement, Madonna took off her shirt and pulled down her pants to reveal the name "OBAMA" written in all capital letters across her lower back.
"When Obama is in the White House for a second term I'll take it all off," she said, before treating her fans to a sexy version of "Like a Virgin."
Why is all this so important, you naively ask? Because no candidate in the past 200 years has won the White House without the all-important "Women-Over-50-Who-Dress-Like-13-year old-Sluts" vote.