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Jewish World Review Sept. 2, 2011 / 3 Elul, 5771 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Long Island's Labor Day weekend society parties at the Hamptons are threatened by hurricane power outages. The mansions have no air conditioning or electricity until after Labor Day. The conditions are so squalid the billionaires are threatening to unionize. The Philadelphia Eagles handed Michael Vick his second one-hundred-million-dollar contract Tuesday. The talent to quarterback in the NFL is very rare. They'd have given Mike Vick a second chance even if he had organized fights to the death between Girl Scouts. The NCAA suspended eight Miami Hurricanes Thursday following sanctions against Ohio State and USC for improper player benefits. They must clean up college football in order to preserve honest competition. If it doesn't work they are going to go to a salary cap. Joe Biden addressed the National Clean Energy Summit in the Las Vegas City Center complex on Wednesday. There's an electric monorail that goes from the shopping mall to the hotel. It allows people to get to the casino and lose all their money without fouling the air. President Obama agreed to see the Congressional Black Caucus Wednesday. They've said he's ignoring their concerns to woo white voters. It would help if he stopped handing his empty cocktail glasses to black congressman who come up to him to say hello at parties. Barry Bonds was ordered to be sentenced in December for his obstruction of justice conviction on steroids. They say he gave a vague and rambling reply when asked if he received drugs that require a syringe. The statement went on for so long that the federal attorney brought in the Academy Awards orchestra to play music to get him to wrap it up.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton |
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