Jewish World Review Sept. 5, 2003 / 8 Elul, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
Arnold Schwarzenegger wouldn't participate in the California
recall election debate Wednesday with four other candidates. It's no
secret why. He's made it clear in past magazine interviews that he will
not join four other people with his clothes on.
Britney Spears performed at the NFL gala Thursday to twenty-five
thousand U.S. troops. Their cheers took courage. She French-kissed
Madonna at the MTV Awards last week and you don't do anything the French
way when you work for Donald Rumsfeld.
Poland took over the running of Southern Iraq on Tuesday. This is
no problem for them. When you've lived for a thousand years between
Germany and Russia, living between the Sunnis and the Shiites is like
refereeing an eighth-grade football game.
The State Department's Richard Boucher ridiculed a Belgian plan to
challenge NATO with a rival alliance. He said Belgium isn't a military
power, it's a chocolate maker. Don't laugh, they're responsible for
blowing up America's last two First Ladies.
Southern California was hit by gasoline prices approaching three
dollars per gallon on Wednesday. The expense has forced a lot of
homeowners to economize on yard work. Until now, goats could only be
seen on the front row of Laker home games.
John Kerry declared his candidacy in South Carolina Tuesday and
mentioned the word courage ten times. You could read on the audience's
faces what they were thinking. They wouldn't have to listen to this if
Gettysburg had gone the other way.
Teresa Heinz baked homemade brownies Tuesday for husband John
Kerry to make him feel better on the campaign trail. The next day he
cried in public for the first time. Medical marijuana has just made its
first appearance as a campaign issue.
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01/02/03:Annual Review of the Past Year's Mischief
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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