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May 23rd, 2022

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Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published August 4, 2021

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report
The White House didn't comment Monday on why President Biden was not invited to Barack Obama's sixtieth birthday party. He'd just steal the show. At Obama's fiftieth birthday party in the White House ten years ago, when they lit the candles on the cake Joe recited the story of Hanukkah.

NBC's broadcast of the Summer Olympics in Japan began to draw bigger TV ratings this week as the public became familiar with some of the athletes. All the trans-genders in the Games have given little girls who want to grow up to achieve Olympic stardom a new motto to live by. Grow a pair.

New Zealand transgender weightlifter Laurel Hubbard was gracious to the IOC, to Japan and to her fans after she failed all three lifts with the whole world watching. Social media won't tolerate any observation unless it's serious. Well, I don't know about Laurel, she looks more like Hardy to me.

U.S. Olympic athletes inspired debates on cable news Monday on whether they represent the U.S. or themselves at the Games, and I'd say they represent us all. Last night during the Games, the Americans took the Gold Silver and Bronze medals. The owners of the medals have notified the police.

GOP Senator Lindsay Graham of South Carolina came down with coronavirus Monday even though he'd been already vaccinated months ago. The Southerner is an outspoken conservative and a loyal Trump ally. The next day he got a nice card from Nancy Pelosi urging him to stay positive.

The Daily Mail says Google CEO Larry Page is on a private island in the Fijis until the virus ends. The billionaire is off the grid along with staff including his yacht captain and crew, his science advisor and several women. They say that life imitates art but more often it imitates Gilligan's Island.

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Britain reports the Delta variant's toll on Britons was much milder than expected as infection rates fell for the seventh day in a row. U.S. numbers will start declining as our numbers lag a week behind England's. Dr. Fauci warned Americans to wear three bathing suits before getting in the pool.

Fox News interviewed House Republicans who demand to learn all that's on Hunter Biden's laptop, suspecting it'll reveal shady business deals with his father and uncle. Do the Bidens ever take one day off? Hunter's love child is only two years old and already she's on the USC rowing team.

President Biden's poll numbers slipped as the mood sours over the border and mask mandates but people still appreciate the peace and quiet from the White House. Electing a guy with Donald Trump's personality as the president is like marrying a nymphomaniac. It's fun for about two weeks.

Governor Cuomo was questioned for hours over sex harassment charges. He has responded to accusations he gave unwanted hugs the same way he'd answer if accused of beheading a movie studio owner's horse. He said Italians are emotional people who like to express themselves physically.

Olympic gymnast Simone Biles sat in the stands and cheered her team to victory in Japan this past week. Simone showed tremendous courage by stepping down from the very top because her mental state isn't quite right. People magazine just named her least Likely Ever to Become President.


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