Imagine that a 40-year-old agrees to a colonoscopy. His doctor detects no evidence of disease. But the physician insists on checking anyway. He knocks the patient out and finds— nothing. But, since he’s strapped to a gurney and paralyzed by Propofol, the doctor keeps looking. He opens the patient’s abdomen, inspects the internal organs, and finds no hint of cancer. But he removes the appendix because — why not?
Then the doctor peers down the man’s throat. Still no cancer. But — great idea! — he snatches the tonsils. Next, the doctor orders an endodontist to perform 12 root canals.
The man’s molars are perfectly fine. All that drilling proves pointless.
"Penile catheter!" the doctor tells the nurse, as she hands him a long, thin, clear tube.
"Let’s see what we can find."
President Donald J. Trump has every reason to feel as violated as this fictional victim of medical abuse. U.S. Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s inquisition began as a collusionoscopy. The initial question was vital: Did Team Trump collude with Russia to secure the White House?
In his best-selling book, "The Russia Hoax," Gregg Jarett explains in nearly graphic detail how Mueller’s probe was born illegitimate. The special-counsel statute requires that investigations begin with enough evidence of specific lawbreaking to establish reasonable suspicion of criminality. Only then may a special counsel proceed and determine if federal statutes were violated.
Like a car being driven at high speed in reverse, Mueller got this totally backward, and has not slowed down. Mueller’s inquisition did not start with any "specific factual statement" that any particular law had been broken. As it happens, there is no federal "anti-collusion" law.
Had Donald Trump, Jr. accepted a non-classified, dirt-clogged dossier on Hillary Clinton from Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya, that would not have been illegal.
Poor judgment? Maybe. Reckless? Perhaps. A violation of federal law? No.
If you disagree, please cite the relevant statute.
Rather, without pointing to any particular crime, U.S. Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein sent Dr. Mueller to root around the body politic with neither a preliminary diagnosis nor the legal equivalent of x-rays or blood tests.
Even with its bastard background, Mueller’s malpractice might have been worthwhile had he found evidence of Trump-Russia collusion. None has surfaced. And yet Dr. Mueller and his 82 percent Democrat, pro-Hillary, Trump-hating clinical team keep prodding the president, as if he were a cadaver being autopsied.
Trump advisers Mike Flynn, Rick Gates, and George Papadopoulos have pled guilty to various offenses, none of which indicate that Russia helped Trump get elected. Former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort’s convictions on pre-Trump tax- and bank-fraud violations also have zippo to do with Russia.
Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen pled guilty to tax evasion and bank-loan fraud.
Cohen should have paid his taxes and not misstated his taxi-medallion finances.
But, again, this has nada to do with so-called Trump-Russia collusion.
And now, Dr. Mueller is wielding a surgical saw and chasing Trump Organization CFO Allen Weisselberg and National Enquirer chairman David Pecker. Even if dodgy dollars erected a Trump hotel somewhere, this still would not constitute Trump-Russia collusion.
And the just-immunized Pecker supposedly has a safe full of secrets on Trump, presumably involving washed-up porn star Stormy Daniels. Even if Trump paid Daniels to keep her beak shut about their alleged relationship, specifically so he would win the election, how is this a crime? (Cohen pled guilty to paying Daniels "hush money," although legal experts argue that Cohen’s attorney, Clinton consigliere Lanny Davis, bamboozled him into confessing to a non-crime.)
Dr. Mueller’s hunt for reds in October 2016 has failed. Never mind! Next, he promises to open Pecker’s vault and see what it yields on Trump’s colorful personal life.
Swell. Just what America needs.
Dr. Mueller’s non-stop surgical procedure has devolved from Kremlin collusion to tabloid trash. His patient-in-chief suffers from one ailment: He defeated Hillary Clinton.
Dr. Mueller is laboring to make that disease terminal.