|
|
|
Jewish World Review Aug. 23, 2016 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Celebrity Rehab host Dr. Drew Pinsky said Friday he's seen a two-page summary of Hillary's health care and is very concerned about her health. He added he thinks Donald Trump is mentally unstable. Of course, that's not his doctor's opinion, that's his I-want-to-work-in-Hollywood opinion.
• Donald Trump was confronted by a petition by sixty-three members of the GOP establishment accusing him of forsaking the party and campaigning in the gutter. He laughed it off. Donald Trump would be the first to say that he now has sixty-three accusers and he did it without Quaaludes.
• Martin Sheen spoke with the Hollywood Reporter and called Donald Trump an empty-headed moron Tuesday. He once led a free speech protest parade with his mouth taped shut. He wanted the world to know that there's one member of the Sheen family who can still breathe through his nose.
• The Atlantic ran an article about college safe spaces and how difficult it is to provide student safety from free speech and conservative cross-talk. A recent poll says only forty percent of college students believe in free speech. The rest of them believe speech should be paid for by the government.
• The Los Angeles Country Club was selected to host the U.S. Open in seven years by the U.S. Golf Association. The club has three entrance requirements. Membership requires two million dollars, your Episcopal church confirmation certificate, and proof positive you've never had an actor in your family.
• The Nixon Library in Yorba Linda disclosed plans to show an exhibit displaying the mistakes made by Richard Nixon while he was in the White House. All U.S. presidents are reflections of their times. President Nixon put a man on the moon and President Obama put a man in the women's room.
• Russian troops massed on the border of Ukraine Monday, threatening to invade the country on Ukraine's Independence Day and annex it to Russia as they did Crimea. It drew a fast response. The minute President Obama heard the news, he asked the next three groups if he could play through.
• President Obama returned to work Sunday after a two-week vacation on Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts. He visited the flooded area north of New Orleans. You know the president's been playing a little too much golf when he referred to Louisiana as the world's largest two-stroke penalty.
• Russian warplanes were withdrawn from Iran air bases from which they'd launched weekend air raids on ISIS in Syria. Russia joined the United States, Britain and France in waging the war on ISIS. The alliance allowed ISIS to tie Nazi Germany's all-time record for strength of schedule.
• Donald Trump agreed to revisit his promise to deport all illegal aliens after a weekend meeting with Hispanic leaders in New York. He still vows that his policy will be be firm. Last night an illegal alien and a Muslim walked into a bar, and Donald Trump bought the bar so this never happens again.
.
• Hillary Clinton stressed her Methodist upbringing Friday in a speech about service to others. It appears that one of her Sunday school teachers got their scriptures crossed up. Nowhere in the Bible does it state that a lie is an abomination to the Lord and an ever-present help in time of trouble.
• Colin Powell denied Hillary Clinton's claim that he advised her to use private email for State Department business Monday while Donald Trump began back-tracking on his vow to deport all illegal aliens. The race is tightening. In the latest presidential survey, Hillary leads Trump by only three lies.
--
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
Columnists
Toons
Lifestyles | |||||||||||
