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Jewish World Review August 3, 2015 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service wants to talk to the Minnesota dentist who killed Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe. The outrage may be short-lived. When Democrats learn that Cecil was named after Cecil Rhodes the founder of apartheid Rhodesia, the dentist might win the next Arthur Ashe Courage Award.
• Minnesota dentist Walter Palmer provoked world outrage for luring the popular Cecil the Lion off his African game preserve with a dead animal and then shooting him dead and beheading him. The entire world was horrified. It's got ISIS seriously re-thinking their decision to take on white people.
• The GOP Senate labeled the Iranian nuclear deal a glide path to a nuclear arsenal that may be used against us. We're used to living in mortal peril. The Soviet Union aimed missiles at us every day for forty years and today Mexico has biological weapons that come right out of the kitchen faucet.
• The National Football League upheld Tom Brady's punishment for his role in Deflate-gate and cited the quarterback for destroying his cell phone. That erased all records of his past e-mails and texts. Tom Brady has been given a four-game suspension and the Democratic nomination for president.
• The NFL commissioner's office said Tom Brady's testimony about his role in Deflate-gate made him look worse than the evidence did. Whatever happened to the fine art of lying? Tom Brady should have just told NFL investigators he loaned his cell phone to Naomi Campbell and it came back that way.
• Taliban longtime leader Mullah Omar was confirmed dead in Afghanistan Tuesday. He refused to hand over Osama bin Laden after the World Trade Center attacks. Mullah Omar died of neglect after the Americans decided to let bygones be bygones and go after the dentist who killed Cecil the Lion.
• World Wrestling Entertainment cut ties with Hulk Hogan after the WWE legend was recorded repeatedly saying the N-word while making a sex tape with his best friend's wife. The tape was played over radio stations nationwide. The Rap Music Awards just nominated Hulk Hogan for best New Artist.
• New Orleans officials will hold special ceremonies this weekend to mark the tenth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. It left lasting images. Who could ever forget the sight of President George W. Bush standing in the middle of the hurricane damage and promising that we will get whoever did this.
• Senator Tom Cotton was unable to get John Kerry to reveal secret side deals in the Iran nuclear deal Wednesday in Senate hearings that were televised live in Iran. It had an interesting effect. Afterward Iran street protestors chanted for death to America and a quick healing to Kerry's broken leg.
• Hillary Clinton irritated environmentalists in New Hampshire Tuesday when she flatly refused to take a stand on approval of the Keystone oil pipeline. She calmly assured her audience members that she will review the agreement after she's president. Prince Charles is less certain that he's next in line.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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