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Jewish World Review August 13, 2013 / 7 Elul, 5773 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos bought the Washington Post on Tuesday. He now controls the press coverage of every congressman and senator in Washington. The Internet sales tax is now the deadest thing in Washington D.C. that doesn't have its own monument on the Mall.
• CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta shocked viewers Thursday admitting he's been wrong about marijuana being bad for your health. He's correct to a point. No one seriously argues that marijuana is not perfectly safe to smoke, it's the cholesterol in Cheetohs that kills you.
• Californians were furious Friday over test scores that show drastic drops in student test scores in English and math. The opinion of the education establishment is unanimous. The only thing that will solve this problem is a twenty percent bump in teachers' pensions.
• The White House selected Oprah Winfrey, Bill Clinton and Gloria Steinem to receive the Medal of Freedom this fall. Gloria opened the doors for women in business and Oprah opened the doors for women in television. Bill opened the doors to his private study.
• The Secret Service issued a request Thursday asking Americans on Twitter to report to them any suspicious tweets they read. It's assimilative. It gives millions of Americans who may not be proficient in the English language the chance to have jokes explained to them.
• USA Today took rock stars to task Friday for gouging fans with high ticket prices at summer concerts and clearing a huge percentage of ticket sales. In addition, they're scalping their own tickets. The only reason the Rolling Stones are still touring is because Mick Jagger has a Masters in Economics and figured out how to defeat Internet song piracy.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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