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Jewish World Review Aug 22, 2012 / 4 Elul, 5772 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Mitt Romney vowed to end the outsourcing of U.S. jobs overseas Sunday. The practice often backfires. One U.S. city outsourced its suicide hotline to a call-center in Pakistan, and if you call and tell them you are suicidal, they ask you if you know how to drive a truck.
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno was downsized by NBC Friday and dozens of staffers were fired to cut costs. NBC will be sorry they lowered their overhead. They can find writers who'll work for minimum wage, but not everybody in the audience can speak Spanish.
Hillary Clinton was profiled in a travel magazine Monday that revealed she literally never sweats. Not once did she perspire at outdoor speeches in India. It's just proof that when everybody agrees you should've been president, it's better than being president.
USA Today reports that Austrian skydiver Felix Baumgartner is preparing to free-fall to earth from a balloon twenty-three miles in space. He'll be coming down at seven hundred miles per hour. He's in a race for the world's free-fall record with Facebook stock.
Donald Trump was given a secret opening night role for television viewers to enjoy when the Republican Party Convention begins in Orlando Monday. Be sure to tune in early so you don't miss the surprise. He's going to lead the Pledge of Allegiance to himself.
President Obama disclosed he is working on a plan to release oil from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to lower gas prices before the election. It's his last option. They tried releasing the Strategic Wind Reserve, but every time Joe Biden gives a speech things just get worse.
Homeland Security chief head Janet Napolitano was accused by male staffers Sunday of allowing her women staffers to turn the executive floor into their sex club. They figure why should the TSA have all the fun? Last night a courier arrived at Homeland Security wearing only a swimsuit in order to avoid being patted down and they strip-searched him.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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