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Jewish World Review August 31, 2011 / 1 Elul, 5771 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The New York Times ran an article calling for affirmative action for ugly people. It said good looks give job applicants an advantage over ugly people. In order to qualify you must furnish DNA proof that a peeping Tom has thrown up on your windowsill.
President Obama issued an executive order before going on vacation which gave amnesty to several hundred thousand illegal aliens currently being held in state custody pending deportation. There's a reason why he did this. He doesn't want to have Thanksgiving dinner alone.
President Obama's uncle Omar Obama was arrested for DUI near Boston Friday. He's been detained as an illegal alien from Kenya, just like the president's aunt. Every time President Obama gets his golf clubs out of the trunk of his limo he finds more two relatives.
President Obama sank to his lowest job approval rating in Monday's poll. His habit is to blame Bush. He took charge of the hurricane response from North Carolina to Maine Sunday and issued an order authorizing millions of dollars in federal relief to New Orleans.
Al Gore said Sunday that anyone who doubts global warming is a racist. This is a new low. Last year Tipper Gore left him over those dim yellow lights around the house after she stubbed her toe on the furniture for the fiftieth time and ran over one of the grandkids.
New York's U.S. senators asked that Libyan rebels detain the Lockerbie bomber Abdel Al Megrahi, whom Scotland released on humanitarian grounds last year. We'd like to make an honest man of Abdel. Once the Lockerbie Bomber is in U.S. custody he can say he has less than three months to live and for the first time he can say it with a straight face.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton |
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