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Jewish World Review July 18, 2019 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Cal Tech astronomers reported a two thousand seven-hundred megaton asteroid is headed our way. They warned that it could hit and destroy all life on earth in early October. The asteroid is leading both Trump and Biden by twenty points in the polls.
• Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Congresswoman Ilhan Omar claimed in their press conference they represent Americans who are overlooked and disregarded because of their minority status. I myself have Mexican blood. It's on my front bumper, but that's a police matter.
• President Trump questioned the patriotism of House Democrats who likened border detention facilities to Nazi concentration camps. Trump even started a new presidential tradition. After the Border Patrol Band played the Star Spangled Banner, Trump threw out the first illegal alien.
• Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez led a press conference held by four women House Democrats to answer Trump's tweets questioning their patriotism. They are a very determined group. They always say they're tired of playing the white man's game, but why bring hockey into this?
• Democratic candidates took turns promising to add Supreme Court seats if that's what it takes to protect Roe vs. Wade from being overturned by states. A state's culture is what shapes state laws. For instance in a Los Angeles divorce court, whoever wins joint custody gets to keep all the marijuana.
• Hillary Clinton gave a speech so strong in New Hampshire. It gave reporters the feeling Hillary is thinking about running for president. The path isn't exactly strewn with roses. Right now, Bill Clinton has to be worrying that Jeffrey Epstein is going to throw him under the school bus.
• President Trump caught hell for suggesting that four leftist House Democrats return to their home countries. They're from America. Trump felt low because he'd just realized he and Epstein are the only two white billionaires now living in federal housing previously occupied by black people.
• Nancy Pelosi denounced Trump for being racist in denouncing the same four congresswomen who'd denounced Pelosi as a racist last week. It's insane. The Founders never dreamed America's two political parties would wind up being Good Looking White People with Money and Everyone Else.
• President Trump called four leftist Democratic congresswomen open-border communists and American-hating foreigners. It gets better. The four women House lawmakers who were insulted by Trump held a press conference and protested being called names by a racist, sexist, homophobic Nazi.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2018, Argus Hamilton |
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