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Jewish World Review July 31,2018 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Pepperidge Farms said it's taking their popular Goldfish Crackers off the grocery store shelves due to salmonella. It set off a mistaken jubilation in the media. When CNN first got word that the tainted orange cracker was being recalled, they thought they'd missed the impeachment.
• NBC News says Houston cops using a drug sniffing dog found four kilos of meth in the trunk of a truck during a routine freeway traffic stop. Times really do change. It used to be called meth-amphetamine but now it's called meth because that's easier to say when you have no front teeth.
• The Denver Post reports that a medical worker who just returned from the Congo became violently ill Sunday and had to be tested for Ebola, along with the ambulance crew. The virus was never a concern on the West Coast. People in Los Angeles aren't worried about Ebola unless it has gluten in it.
• CBS announced Thursday that Hillary Clinton has been signed to guest-star in an episode of CBS's Madam Secretary this fall. This could be the smartest political move she ever made. History teaches us that if Hillary Clinton becomes a big enough TV star she might someday become president.
• The New Zealand Parliament became the first legislature in the Western world to pass a law that grants paid leave to workers due to domestic violence, Getting time off for domestic violence is ridiculous. If somebody can't beat their spouse and make it to work, they should be fired, not rewarded.
• The New York Post reported a bizarre story in New Jersey when police found trash bags filled with beheaded crows which they found on the streets corners of Jersey City. Both the police reports and eyewitnesses say the crows were completely beheaded. So we know OJ didn't do it.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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