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President Trump's motorcade in Paris was escorted by the colorful Garde Republicain cavalry unit. France is one country with no battle re-enactment clubs. Who wants to spend all weekend dressing in old uniforms and surrendering to Germans, Normans, Romans and whoever else drops by.
• Sarah Palin sued the New York Times for defamation for connecting her to the shooting of Gabby Giffords. She's finally enjoying the last laugh. Sarah Palin became every Democrat's punch line after she said she can see Russia from her house, now Democrats are seeing Russia from everywhere.
• President Trump insisted that Donald Jr. did nothing wrong meeting with a Russian attorney who offered Hillary dirt. It turned out to be about orphan adoption, and ironically, Donald Jr. has just resigned as the president's son and is looking for a nice couple who'll give him a good home.
• Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell worked into the weekend trying to cobble together enough GOP votes to get their health care bill passed. It's going to be very close. Mitch said he's just working to get fifty people into a comfortable place, but why bring Bill Cosby's defense plea into this?
• ISIS strongholds in northern Iraq came under siege following the fall of Mosul Thursday but the fighting in the region remains fierce. A mercenary from Florida was wounded Friday during a battle with ISIS. His parents tried to warn him that his broken bottle was no match for their AK-47s.
• National Rifle Association commercials on cable news channels were challenged by ads from women's rights and civil rights groups Friday. We've become over-sensitive. Black Lives Matter just announced plans to picket the U.S. Chess Championship because white always gets to move first.
• Bill Clinton and George W. Bush addressed the President's Leadership Council at the George W. Bush Library on Thursday. For an entire hour neither president tweeted anything outrageous, ripped the media or said anything crazy. It was a throwback to a simpler time when a president had to have an intern under the desk or invade the wrong country to get his name in the newspaper.
• President Trump arrived in Paris to celebrate Bastille Day on Friday in honor of the French Revolution. Our cultural ties go way back. Over a century ago, French Fries were invented in America, but we named them after the French, because after you eat them, you feel fat and defeated.
• Senate Republicans struggled to create a health care bill that their lobbyists can agree on and overthrow Obamacare passed by Democrats and their lobbyists. Our two-party system resulted in a Congress that's like a dog who's half-pit bull and half-Collie. After it rips your leg off, it runs for help.
• Congress may return from their August vacations to vote on the Senate's version of the GOP health care bill. They've been ripping Obamacare for seven years without writing a plan they can agree on. Congress is proof that the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.
• The Seattle Times reports that a Delta Airlines flight attendant smashed a wine bottle over the head of an unruly passenger to restrain him Sunday on a Seattle to Beijing flight. Remember when the big issue for airline passengers was carry-on bags? Now the big issue is being carried off in a bag.
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