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Jewish World Review July 18, 2016 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Donald Trump soared to the lead over Hillary Clinton in a poll Friday. Surveys show nobody trusts Hillary and Trump scares people. A mugger pointed his gun at a guy’s head in Central Park and asked if he was voting for Hillary or Trump, and the guy told him to just pull the damned trigger.
• The New York Post reports a new strain of synthetic marijuana is causing people to wander through New York like zombies and screaming at people. The synthetic pot makes the user feel fearless and angry and right about everything. Doctors say the effects include party nomination for president.
• President Obama held a White House summit between members of Black Lives Matter and the police Wednesday. The exasperation in the community is palpable. We’re getting to the point in the United States where you can’t even tell a cop to screw off and try to grab his gun, and not get shot.
• Donald Trump was reported Thursday to have selected Indiana governor Mike Pence to be his vice presidential running mate. It wasn’t even close. Pence is believed to have had the inside track with Donald Trump the whole time because Pence sounds like money and it rhymes with fence.
• The Republican Party Convention kicks off at the Quicken Loans Convention Center Monday in Cleveland where the NBA champion Cavaliers play. The city badly needs to put on a good face. Last year, LeBron James made history by becoming the first person ever to move back to Cleveland.
• President Obama urged members of Congress to go to work creating a government health care insurance program to cover the full cost of medical services for low-income people. ObamaCare turned out to be like one of those hospital gowns which tie in the back. You just think you’re covered.
• Hillary Clinton told the Springfield State House that Donald Trump is no Abe Lincoln. You don’t see Donald Trump going to the Nixon Library and saying Hillary is no Richard Nixon. Can’t we just appreciate each candidate for their role model without expecting them to achieve the same glory?
• A Tennessee state legislator is reported being investigated for twenty-two accusations of sexual harassment brought against him by twenty-two women. It got everyone’s attention. It’s Shakespeare’s way of warning Bill Cosby and Roger Ailes that uneasy is the head that wears the crown.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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