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Jewish World Review July 22, 2014 / 24 Tammuz, 5774 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu gave no timeline for an end to the Israeli invasion of Gaza. It won't ever end. Last year an Israeli man's life was saved when he was given a Palestinian man's heart in transplant surgery, and now he can't stop throwing rocks at himself.
• Israeli forces advanced into Gaza a second day Friday determined to root out the Hamas militants who fired missiles into Israel and tunneled terrorists into the Jewish state. Hamas leaders say they don't recognize Israel. Of course they don't recognize it, they keep blowing it up.
• Russia faced international condemnation for supplying missiles to Ukrainian rebels over the past weekend. The Kremlin is worried this could hurt tourism. Vladimir Putin will star in a commercial for Russian tourism in which he urges you to visit Russia before Russia visits you.
• Russia's president Vladimir Putin demanded a cease fire in Ukraine Friday following the passenger jet missile shootdown the day before. He's said to be livid with anger over the incompetence of the rebels who shot the plane down. In his last order he said lunch, not launch.
• Malaysian Airlines faced criticism Friday for flying over a war zone in eastern Ukraine where two aircraft were shot down earlier in the week. This, on top of the Malaysian airliner that disappeared three months ago and hasn't been found. Most airlines just lose your luggage.
• The Democratic National Committee said Friday they will announce the 2016 convention site in November. The party tends to favor the cities with NBA teams. Democrats love going to NBA games because it's the only chance they ever get to boo a bunch of millionaires to their face.
• The Royal Family gathers at Buckingham Palace today to celebrate Prince George's first birthday. The adorable boy has all the English-speaking world captivated. He's just third in line to the throne, but as Prince Charles has already assured him, it's a really slow-moving line.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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