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Jewish World Review July 3, 2014 / 5 Tammuz, 5774 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• President Obama got a laugh at a White House lunch praising the pastry chef. He joked that he wondered if the pie crust was cut with crack. The crowd knew he was kidding but Toronto mayor Rob Ford called the White House to see if he could join the Obamas for dessert some night.
• President Obama sent two hundred U.S. troops to Baghdad to secure the U.S. Embassy, the airport and the road to the airport on Tuesday. The explanation was on message. If Hobby Lobby isn't going to finance women's birth control, we're going to have to pull out everywhere.
• Hillary Clinton compared the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court ruling to societies like Saudi Arabia controlling women to men's benefit. It upheld a law Bill Clinton signed into law. The Saudis love Bill Clinton because they think he's the only American who's allowed dozens of wives.
• GOP operative Roger Stone wrote a book which claimed Richard Nixon and LBJ both tried to seduce Jackie Kennedy while she was first lady. She never strayed. When Jackie wasn't re-decorating the White House, she'd put on a blonde wig and wait her turn in the secretarial pool.
• Mexico's National Action Party endorsed a neo-Nazi organization Friday following new Nazi parties recently formed in Chile, Colombia and Central America. It's taking hold. Already children have begun arriving at the U.S. border demanding to be placed in Aryan foster homes.
• Miss Delaware Amanda Longacre was ruled ineligible for the Miss America Pageant this fall when they found she was too old. You can't be over twenty-four. Pageant officials checked her birth certificate after Amanda listed her talent as playing six Bingo cards at the same time.
• California's drought raised the price of water to two thousand two hundred dollars per acre-foot in the parched Golden State. Leave it to L.A. to make it chic. For summer wear, Bloomingdale's is advertising overalls, tee shirts and straw hats from the Dust Bowl Collection.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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