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Jewish World Review July 15, 2013 / 8 Menachem-Av, 5773 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Russia's government communications switched to typewriters Thursday to halt NSA computer spying. Now we know what they learned from Ed Snowden. Not missing a cue, New York Democratic candidates Eliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner just switched to telegraph sex.
• O.J. Simpson will plead his case to his parole board in Nevada this week. He's right on time . The rules of perpetual racial tension require that if George Zimmerman gets off scot-free, we must have another man who got off scot-free waiting in the on-deck circle.
• Florida electronics stores tightened security in case of post-verdict riots Friday. The security cameras let you see every looter who enters the store. What you don't see are the store clerks offering to sell them extended warranties as they grab stuff off the shelves.
• Eliot Spitzer announced for NYC comptroller despite all his hookers while Anthony Weiner stumped for mayor. South Carolina just sent an adulterer to Congress. There should be a sign in every major U.S. airport welcoming international visitors to New France.
• New York comptroller candidate Eliot Spitzer was blasted by women's groups Friday for all the hookers he procured. Qualifying for the ballot should be no problem. As of today he's got comedians on every street corner in New York gathering signatures for him.
• The ComicCon convention of comic book fanatics is in San Diego today. Hollywood studios order producers not to interact with them. ComicCon convention-goers deliver such huge box office numbers for the movies they like it might ruin them to get them girls.
• Mexico surpassed the U.S. as the fattest country in the world on Monday. Food experts blamed Mexican obesity on McDonald's, Pizza Hut and Taco Bell. Hey, the population of Mexico knew when they decided to move to the United States it wasn't going to be risk-free.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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