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Jewish World Review July 5, 2013 / 27 Tamuz, 5773 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Tahir Square in Cairo was jammed with millions of protesters as Egypt's Islamist regime fell to a coup by Egypt's secular army. World reaction was swift. The United Nations went into emergency session to try to find a way to blame this on the Jews.
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The FBI revealed how they tracked al-Qaeda leader Anwar al Awlaki when he stayed in Washington hotels and hired hookers. We're all in this together. The FBI investigated him, the CIA killed him with a drone, and the prostitute in Washington charged him double.
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President Obama delayed implementation of ObamaCare Wednesday until after House elections. The program got off to a great start. Andy Griffith demonstrated how much money the program would save by doing TV commercials for it and then dying immediately.
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The George Zimmerman trial offered testimony by blacks who use the term cracker on white people. The reaction by white people was predictable. Everyone immediately broke into a tutorial explaining who is a cracker, who's a matzoh and who's a vanilla wafer. • Carnival Cruise announced it has spent three hundred million dollars to upgrade their ships after the sewage breakdowns on the high seas. The Triumph had to be towed back to Mississippi. All the experts are there because they're the last state to convert to plumbing.
• NSA fugitive Ed Snowden was given strict conditions by Vladimir Putin Tuesday if he wants to be given political asylum in Russia. The NSA whistleblower is desperate for a place to hide where no one will see him. He's just asked CNN if he can host an hour of prime time.
• The New England Patriots stopped selling Aaron Hernandez jerseys Monday after he was charged with murder in an execution slaying. He's a suspect in two other murders. If things get any worse for Aaron Hernandez he could lose his endorsement deal with Nike.
• India's low-budget airline Go Air announced Tuesday that they will only hire female flight attendants. The airline said it saves jet fuel because women are lighter than men. This is the one nation where Paula Deen's cookbooks have not achieved wide distribution.
• The China Post reported wealthy Chinese are paying three thousand dollars a month to have women give them breast milk as a health food drink. You just call them up and they come over. Leave it to the Chinese to teach Democrats how to sell health care reform.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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