Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015 Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish April 18, 2014 Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious April 14, 2014 Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz! 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Jewish World Review Buy my %*&^ing book! By Celia Rivenbark http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Lately I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out how a book becomes a bestseller. In the past 11 years, I've had six books published. But this morning, between the fourth and fifth load of laundry and, again, while cleaning the litter boxes, I had to wonder what it's going to take to finally get a spot on the "New York Times Bestseller List." And then it came to me … A nasty word in the title. How else can you explain the gazillion-selling titles that have cropped up just in the recent past: "**** My Dad Says," by Justin Halpern; "(******* Finish First" by Tucker Max; and the brand new No. 1 bestseller, "Go the **** to Sleep," Adam Mansbach's fabulously profane parody of the homespun treacle that is "Goodnight Moon." FREE SUBSCRIPTION TO INFLUENTIAL NEWSLETTER Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". A SOPHISTICATED examination of faith, culture and politics. Sign up for the daily update. It's free. Just click here. So I'm taking suggestions for a title for Book 7, which will be a lighthearted look at etiquette. Take your time. I'll wait. One thing seems obvious: The worse the swear word, the greater the chance that the book will be a million-seller. There's a word I have in mind but I can't say it in a family newspaper. Or even out loud. I'm no prude, mind you. In fact, my friends probably consider me the foulest-mouthed churchgoer they've ever known. What can I tell you? I'm a ******* enigma. But this word? Nah, I can't go there. Not even for the mega-sales that it would surely guarantee. So, it's doubtful that, "That's Not the Salad Fork, You Stupid ****" will ever be published. Pity. A snappy title is crucial to book sales. Which is why I've worked really hard, sometimes upwards of 10 or 15 minutes, to come up with a title for each of my books. People sometimes ask me if I do my own titles, which is kinda strange. It's like asking if you clean your own ears. My latest book, "You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat Girl," probably could use a nasty-word boost but it's too late now. I have high hopes for the future of "Fat Girl" as I have had for all of my "babies," but I know now that the title is probably too tame to generate the mega-million sales I crave. The closest I've come to a naughty title was 2006's "Stop Dressing Your Six Year Old Like a Skank." The one thing I never expected, and it happened many times, was that I would go to a bookstore, do a reading and more than a few folks in the audience would say, "But what's a skank?" Something tells me Tucker Max has a different demo. But then, he really is an *******. I'm just pretending to be one. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here. Shellacked in a foreign language College degree can be had in 3 days She'll take names, and then call them losers I beg of you, spare the ‘Children’ Release the hoards Brace yourself for a luxurious smile, and a big bill Speaking her mind by pushing his buttons She'll have another shot of mugs Polygamy may only get one season A picture is worth $1,000 for retouching Not cancer, still a big fat pain A text is worth 1,000 words Ready for some laughs again Now men don't have to work out either Hormones rule home of Princess and mom Add some oohing, cooing to your kitchen Tweeting puppy a perfect pet … for twerps Science fair spurs on hyper parents Cat naps aren't all that popular among felines Nightmare in the mall's dead zone America: Cut out the need to be cute Taking a page from a ‘Mad’ mother She's adding truth serum to her Cap'n Crunch Snuggie ensnares another victim, er, admirer Florida can keep its snakes She's homeless . . . but for $95 she can go home with your princess Southern fish experiencing identity crises Monkey baby big business for the small-minded All mommixed up? Try keeping toes in a breath-mint tin Thunder thighs finally get revenge Where would I be without the digested read? Butter buds: Julia and Celia Facebook is for ‘old’ people, too, missy Ch-ch-ch-changes Getting refreshment not berry smooth in age of mass marketing Reality show lowers her IQ to sub-dirt levels Cuddle parties are the latest weird trend Middle school is a whole new game and these players are vicious If the first lady can dig in the dirt, why can't I? Somehow, we've all lost our internal censors Not to rub it in, Barbie, but you're old Some things you probably don't need to know about your friends Big family, big ratings, big mess Fred Mertz for vice president Women and tools are like grease, water Runners are a different breed of folk altogether Don't get all bento out of shape For you, Princess? I'll buy junk Gwyneth P. needs big ol' reality check Reality show amuses yet repels viewer Spying on kid at summer camp awfully fulfilling Stars? Great outdoors? I don't think so Honesty in the name of fashion Perfect attendance award is for little, viral losers Trendy new ailment not for everybody What is wrong with the women today who marry insanely rich and talented men and then think they still have to cook? Shagadelic on the dance floor Ex-boyfriends can have the worst timing Little wonder many voters are confused Sound bites not easy in Southern I swear it's not my fault Celebrity news gets weirder, trumps all else Driver's license? Outta my way while I get `em Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby Driving under the influence of celebrity Hugged your Webkinz today? Hate mail spawned by humor columns ‘High School Musical’ rocks to the max! Where did latest ‘syndrome’ come from? Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama Office gossip is protected free speech First-class corpse Song lyrics have only gotten dumber Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care Being a happy human vessel has its limits Who's not your daddy? Phoning for dazzlers Proper spelling begins at home Sick of the waiting room Road signs Halt your motion toward the lotion Sudoku's got my husband's number One short stack of smarts, please Spa me the kids IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness Girls' pajama parties a little different now Welcome back for guilt-free manly man A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs Girls' pajama parties a little different now When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome Ageless icons can't escape their ages Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’ © 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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