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Jewish World Review
Why ‘Bible thumpers’ hurt their cause
By Rabbi A. Leib Scheinbaum
Minding your own business is wrong — sometimes
“These are the words which Moses spoke to all of the Israelites.”
— Deut. 1:1
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During the five weeks preceding his passing, Moses reviewed with the Israelites the errors and sins committed during their forty-year trek in the wilderness. As chronicled, he neither castigated the nation nor admonished them in anger. Rather, he alluded to incidents and places in which they fell short.
Reproving those who engage in wrongful behavior is a religious duty and a moral obligation. We are forbidden from looking away and "minding our own business". When we see someone committing a wrong, we are enjoined to call the errant behavior to attention. But, as Moses did before us, any reprovement must be carried out with love, sensitivity and consideration. An individual's dignity must be upheld. Our goal must be to prevent the individual who is failing, from falling further into the abyss of sin — to encourage his return to a moral way of life.
There are exceptions.
If we know in advance that our reproach will have a negative effect — if it will deflate the individual, catalyzing depression and despair — doing so is counterproductive. The goal is mending, not breaking.
There is another "however": A situation in which rebuke is likely to be scorned.
The conversation between Abraham and the Divine about Sodom is one of the best known in the Bible.
Abraham, upon learning of the G-d's intent to destroy the city began to bargain with Him. In the end, the town wasn't spared because it lacked even a minimal number of righteous folks.
Interesting, is it not, that while the Torah records the conversation Abraham had with G-d, there's no mention of him ever attempting to do the same with the Sodomites.
If Sodom's inhabitants were so openly cruel — indeed, epitomized evil — they should have been rebuked and taken to task. Shouldn't Abraham, as the moral leader of his day, have at least tried to influence their return to an upright life? Did he not shirk his responsibilities?
BIBLICAL LEADERSHIP ADVICE
Of course not, answers the Dubno Maggid (d. 1804). In fact, it was because they were so thoroughly evil that the inhabitants of Sodom received no rebuke.
The Talmud ( Yevamos 65b) rules that just as there is a duty to offer rebuke when it will be accepted, so, too, is it a mitzvah to withhold rebuke when it will not.
To make their point, the Sages cite Proverbs 9:8: "Do not rebuke a scoffer, lest he hate you. Rebuke a wise man and he will love you." Though cited, the second part of the verse (rebuke a wise man) seems to have no bearing on the point the Sages are emphasizing. Yet the Talmud, often mocked for excessive hair-splitting, includes it. Why?
The Maggid explains that by including the second clause of the verse, the Sages are enlightening us with a penetrating insight into human nature — something that anybody in a leadership position must master:
One who insists on rebuking others, despite knowing that he will be ignored, risks being branded a fanatic. He may even wind up losing his credibility altogether, stunting and stifling any later abilility to effect influence over those who have the potential to improve.
In an attempt to emphasize this point, the Sages cite the entire verse, which tells us that if one wants to succeed in rebuking a wise man, he must refrain from rebuking a scoffer, lest he hate him and destroy his validity and effectiveness.
Why Did Abraham not even attempt to sway the people of Sodom? Because he knew human nature well. He understood that he would not succeed; his words would fall on deaf ears. Moreover, they would not only scoff at him but even hate him. And, in the long run, this would preclude his ability to reach others.
In order to inspire and influence the rest of the world, Abraham had to maintain his credibility. He could hardly afford to undermine his facility to influence and teach. By not castigating the people of Sodom, Abraham was preserving his ability to reprove others who would listen more responsively.
This also explains why Noah's reproof of the people of his generation did not succeed. For one hundred and twenty years, he built an ark. He explained to everyone that he was trying to save them from certain death. They laughed; they scoffed; they ridiculed him. His pleas fell on deaf ears. Why? Because they labeled him a fanatic. Once the label was placed, it was readily accepted by all, because no one wants to hear a negative assessment of himself. If they could subvert his efforts by destroying his credibility, they could continue along their merry way, sin after sin, without being hampered by Noah.
The later prophets, who did rebuke, knew their words at least had a chance of taking hold. And while not in every instance did complete improvement come, neither did the societies ever sink as low as Sodom. They continued to exist because, no doubt, there were those who did heed the call to mend their ways.
When it comes to rebuke, it is not what is said, but how it is said, and to whom.
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Rabbi A. Leib Scheinbaum serves as Director of Special Projects at the Hebrew Academy of Cleveland. Founding Director of the Academy's Camp STEP, he has guided the program to become the premier Jewish day camp in the Midwest. As National Director of the Academy's Living Memorial Project, he has overseen the publication of a national Holocaust curriculum on "The World That Was". A graduate of Telshe Yeshiva, he is a dynamic writer whose Peninim Al HaTorah inspires thousands world-wide.
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© 2009, Rabbi A. Leib Scheinbaum
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