In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

Smirks and smiles

By Rabbi Yonason Goldson

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Your nine-year-old daughter has just performed a flawless rendition of "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" at her school recital. The parent sitting next to you remarks, "Isn't she a virtuoso?"

Alternatively, your nine-year-old has just managed to butcher "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" in an excruciating performance. The parent sitting next to you remarks, "Isn't she a virtuoso?"

By altering the context and shifting the inflection from isn't to she, the identical phrase changes from an expression of glowing admiration to the cattiest of barbs. Such is the power of sarcasm, the mechanism through which positive becomes negative and praise becomes disdain.

Sarcasm has been around since the beginning of recorded history, tracing its origins back to Biblical times. In fact, its first recorded expression appears only seven days after the Jewish exodus from Egypt. Boxed in against the sea, with nowhere to turn and Pharaoh's chariots bearing down upon them, the Israelites cried out to Moses, "Were there not enough graves in Egypt, that you had to bring us to die in the desert?"

Needless to say, there were plenty of graves in Egypt, and the Jews could have made their point equally well by saying, "Why did you bring us out of Egypt to die in the desert?" Instead, they seasoned their complaint with a heavy measure of sarcasm.

Why? Where does this sarcastic impulse come from? And why is it so prevalent throughout Jewish culture?

Let's begin with a definition. According to Webster:

Sarcasm n. [Latin sarcasmus, from the Greek sarkazo, to tear flesh like dogs, to speak bitterly.] A bitter, cutting expression; a satirical remark; a gibe; often associated with irony.

The Greek origin is revealing. Sarcasm articulates not simple disdain but the most profound bitterness; it expresses the kind of intense misery that seeks company by going for the throat like a wild dog; it desires not merely to vent its passion but to tear the object of its scorn from limb from limb. And so we find the related terms, biting one's lip, gnashing one's teeth and, most relevantly, the cutting remark that is quintessentially sarcastic.

It is Webster's concluding phrase, however, that gives reason for pause: often associated with irony. Well, if we want to be accurate in our terminologies, another definition is in order:

Irony n. [Latin ironia, from the Greek eiron, a dissembler in speech, and its derivative, eironeia, deliberately pretending ignorance, particularly as a rhetorical device to get the better of one's opponent in argument.] A mode of speech by which words express a sense contrary to that really intended; sarcasm, in which apparent praise really conveys disapprobation.

As with sarcasm, irony seeks to gain the upper hand — although the pretended ignorance of irony doesn't figure prominently in our example of the nine-year-old pianist. And again, the concluding definition is curious: sarcasm. If sarcasm is defined by irony and irony is defined by sarcasm, then we have no meaningful definition of either.

Specific types of irony offer significant insights. Socrates pretended ignorance when he posed questions that tied his listeners up in knots. Of course, this was precisely his intention. For all his wisdom, however, Socrates might have anticipated the outcome of his ironic interrogations: his fellow Greeks convicted him of crimes against the state and sentenced him to drink poison.

Dramatic irony makes use of characters who remain unaware of the incongruity between their words and their circumstances. Their persistent cluelessness offers fodder for endless amusement, but without the bite or sting of sarcasm.

Incongruity is the source of all humor. It is the juxtaposition of opposites that makes us laugh. A horse wearing a sundress. A chimpanzee in a diaper. A baby wearing an ascot and mirrored sunglasses. In more sophisticated form, the law of unintended consequences is often the most compelling arbiter of irony, whereby the stature of the individual shrinks before the vastness of a universe he can only begin to comprehend.

How then can we define the difference between sarcasm and irony? According to Dictionary.com, irony exhibits superior subtlety and wit through the structure of language; sarcasm resorts to coarse ridicule and mockery through vocal inflection. It is particularly instructive to note that deaf people cannot recognize sarcasm but have little trouble with irony.

Irony is an admission of one's own limitations; sarcasm is an assertion of one's own superiority. Irony allows others to join in on the joke; sarcasm is always at someone else's expense. An article in Civilization Magazine once observed this distinction as the difference between late night hosts Johnny Carson and David Letterman. The ironic Carson could laugh at himself. The sarcastic Letterman is always laughing at you.

So how does inclusive, good-natured irony become twisted into partisan, mean-spirited sarcasm? And how did the Jews, for whom refined speech is so fundamental an ideal, become such a sarcastic people?

It seems likely that sarcasm began as a psychological defense mechanism. Trapped against the sea, with Pharaoh's chariots racing toward them and nowhere to run, the Jews might have dissolved into sobbing helplessness and capitulation. Instead, they channeled their bitterness into humorous aggression, priming themselves for battle by venting their anger against the nearest available target: in this case, Moses. No, it wasn't fair. But it was excusable under the circumstances.

Over 3300 years later, having endured countless edicts, pogroms, persecutions, incarcerations, crusades, jihads, and holocausts, sarcasm has become a Jewish reflex as automatic as breathing. It's easier to laugh than to cry, especially when the life deals out so much bitterness.

But before we go biting the nearest person's head off, we ought to stop to consider how much better off we are if we save our sarcastic responses for moments of genuine crisis. Habitual sarcasm is destructive, demeaning, and divisive, momentarily assuaging our pain by deflecting it onto others while leaving us even more bitter in the long run. It is the junk food of emotional expression.

How much healthier to share in the humor, even at our own expense, by finding the positive rather than the negative spin. How much more comforting to humbly acknowledge that the more we try to impose order on our world, the more the world reminds us of the inescapable disorder of our own lives. How much better to laugh and let the world laugh with us, since crying doesn't become any more pleasant simply because we aren't crying alone.

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JWR contributor Rabbi Yonason Goldson teaches at Block Yeshiva High School in St. Louis, MO, where he also writes and lectures. Visit him at http://torahideals.wordpress.com .

© 2009, Rabbi Yonason Goldson