Jewish World Review July 15, 2008 / 12 Tamuz 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
WALL-E was number one at the box office Sunday. It's about a trash-compacting robot's quest for the mechanical love of his life. He's not the first character to pick up trash while looking for love but he's the first to do it in a children's movie.
The Stop Smoking Hotline in New York reported Friday that phone calls for help tripled after the city's new ten-dollar-a-pack tax kicked in last week. The city's government has done the impossible. They somehow managed to make crack cost-effective.
The World Trade Center rebuilding project collapsed Wednesday amid design flaws and red tape. It's all the new regulations. The Building and Safety Commission is insisting that nothing can be rebuilt in New York until the terrorists die of old age.
Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke testifies on Capitol Hill today in his scheduled update to Congress. He must sound concerned without starting a panic. No one thinks he's skipping the country but the dry cleaners made him pay up front Monday.
The Democratic party banned fried food at the convention in Denver next month. No wonder they want to reduce it to three days. Four days without fried food and the Southern states will secede, and how do you square that with nominating Barack Obama?
Barack Obama was embarrassed by off-color jokes performed by Bernie Mac at his Chicago fundraiser Saturday. The next day the campaign had to apologize for the offensive remarks. If they'd known he was a preacher they would never have booked him.
Jesse Jackson apologized Tuesday for saying he wants to cut off Barack Obama's testicles. He was always polarizing. Back when Jesse Jackson ran for president his bumper stickers said Run Jesse Run and Republicans placed them on their front bumpers.
© 2007, Argus Hamilton