In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review July 18, 2005 / 11 Taamuz, 5765

Hooking Up

By Tom Purcell

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | "Hooking Up."

That's the name of the newest television dating show. For one year, ABC's news division followed a dozen professional women around New York, recording their attempts to pursue men using Internet dating services.

According to a New York Times review, the show "shines a bright light on the lives of single women who, desperate for love, date many men and sleep around." It also shines a bright light on why romance is a lost art.

You may remember romance. It was a subtle dance between a man and a woman, the sweet energy that occurred when two opposite natures came together as one.

A chief ingredient of romance was mystery — the deep interest and natural curiosity a man held for a woman and a woman held for a man. A mysterious female creature had the power to spellbind a man, transform him and make him want to be a much different fellow.

A woman was mysterious to a man and a man to a woman because each was different — that is both men and women celebrated their differences, whereas now we pretend they don't exist.

Crooners like Frank Sinatra helped us celebrate mystery and romance, with songs such as "Nice and Easy."

We're on the road to romance — that's safe to say

But let's make all the stops along the way

The problem now of course is

To simply hold your horses

To rush would be a crime

Cause nice and easy does it every time

But such lyrics were popular long ago, before songs had lyrics such as "do that to me one more time" and "shake your booty" — before the slow dance of romance was replaced with hooking up.

Hooking up is the opposite of romance. It's a slang term, or used to be anyhow, that describes an immediate, meaningless physical interaction between a man and a woman. Whereas romance was a dance of the spirit and soul, hooking up is purely biological.

There has always been some hooking up among men and women, to be sure. Despite what we like to believe, our physical longings are no different than they ever were. Our reaction is what has changed.

There used to be a double standard, which wasn't right. A man who partook in physical interaction for its own sake may have been patted on the back by other men and forgiven by women, but a woman who did so was branded a trollop or a floozy.

Now there are no standards and absolutely no stigma for hooking up. That is why romance is a lost art.

Romance was hopeful — it focused on the future, on the hopes that one day a special person would enter your life and sweep you off your feet, a person you'd be with forever. It satisfied the heart, soul and body.

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Hooking up is cynical — it focuses on the immediate. It is rooted in doubtfulness, that things likely won't work out anyhow with someone you just met, so you might as well hook up and get something out of it. It satisfies only the body and only temporarily.

The irony is that as fewer people marry — nearly half the adults in large cities such as Washington, D.C. are single — single people long more than ever to find their soul mate. They long for that special person who will bring meaning and happiness to their lives. That's why Internet dating services are booming and women on television shows are desperately looking for love.

But many never will find a soul mate or a mate of any kind. As romance has been lost, our ability to dance through the clumsiness and awkwardness of dating has been made harder. So we've given up and hooked up. And as hooking up has replaced romance, single folks are becoming more guarded, distant and suspicious.

Perhaps that's why the producers gave the newest dating reality such a harsh, cynical name. "Hooking Up" has a better ring to it than some outmoded concept such as "Falling in Love."

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© 2005, Tom Purcell