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Jewish World Review July 8, 2005 / 1 Tamuz, 5765 Man commits suicide after learning Harry Potter spoiler By Andy Borowitz ‘I no longer have a reason to live,’ says despondent fan http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | A rabid Harry Potter fan took his life yesterday after inadvertently learning a plot spoiler from the soon-to-be-released J.K. Rowling opus, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince." Jude Ralston, 32, of Hudson, Ohio left a suicide note indicating that since overhearing the plot spoiler at a shopping mall earlier in the day, "I no longer have a reason to live." Family and friends who gathered for a candlelight memorial outside Mr. Ralston's house remembered a man who seemed to live only for Harry Potter — and wondered if they could have done anything to prevent his tragic fate. "When Jude got that vanity license plate that said 'Hogwarts,' that seemed harmless enough," said Polly Clovis, who attended Model U.N. with Mr. Ralston while the two were in high school. "But when he started wearing that wizard hat around town, we really should have seen that as a cry for help." According to friends of Mr. Ralston, the Potter fanatic had done everything in his power to protect himself from stumbling across Potter plot spoilers, even disconnecting his computer from the Internet and avoiding his favorite vintage comic book store. Ms. Clovis said that she hoped Mr. Ralston's death would cause federal authorities to tighten the flow of Harry Potter plot information to prevent similar tragedies from taking place. "In my heart I believe that could have saved Jude's life, even if he didn't have one," she said. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. BOROWITZ'S LATEST "The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers"   This book has page after page of "news stories" too hot, too controversial, too   —   yes, shocking   —   for the mainstream press to handle. Sales help fund JWR. Comment by clicking here. JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, the first-ever recipient of the National Press Club's Award for Humor, is a former president of the Harvard Lampoon,and a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. Andy's Archives © 2005, Andy Borowitz

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