Jewish World Review July 19, 2004 / 1 Menachem-Av, 5764
important news ....
Whoopi Goldberg was fired by SlimFast for telling a filthy
joke on President Bush last week at Radio City Music Hall. The
audience gasped. Martha Stewart isn't even in prison yet and
already the level of taste in America is sinking like a stone.
The White House announced Friday that Jenna Bush will teach
school in Harlem this fall. It's another intelligence failure. How
could Homeland Security allow the president's daughter to get a
job within walking distance of Bill Clinton's office?
Hillary Clinton was asked to introduce Bill at the
Democratic Convention next week. They're both successful
politicians, they're both best-selling authors and they both have
Secret Service protection. You'd think they would get along better.
Hillary Clinton was asked Friday to introduce Bill Clinton
at the Democratic Convention in Boston. It should be great
television. Paramedics will be standing by with defibrillators in
case it kills her to say something nice about her husband.
John Kerry relaxed in Nantucket Sunday at one of the Heinz
estates. It's his second wife's first husband's seaside mansion.
This is the only household where the real estate has been in the
family longer than the family's been in the family.
The BCS announced a new formula to choose the top two
college football teams to play in the annual championship game on
ABC. It takes no chances. The computer allows for wins, losses,
margins of victory and the coaches poll, and then the advertisers
pick USC and Oklahoma.
Southern California became an inferno of wildfires Thursday
as eleven Western states began burning. The flames were fanned by
triple-digit temperatures and dry winds. It was so hot in Los
Angeles that Kobe Bryant was sticking to the Lakers.
Kobe Bryant signed a seven-year contract Thursday to play
with the Los Angeles Lakers for a hundred forty million dollars.
He's comfortable here. What Kobe Bryant did to that girl in
Colorado is not a crime in Hollywood, it's a screen test.
John Edwards flunked a quiz on the Don Imus show Thursday when asked for the price of milk and beer. The candidate stayed on message. He said his father once milked cows for a living just so he could put beer on the family dinner table every night.
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