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Jewish World Review June 28, 2021 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Las Vegas Raiders star defensive end Carl Nassib made history Wednesday when he came out of the closet as the first active National Football League player to disclose he's gay. Displaying courage like that can help inspire others. In a related story, a figure skater just admitted he's straight.
• The New York Times had a scientist inspect the tuna submarine sandwiches served at Subway and found no tuna. Customers agree it's delicious but they can't identify the taste. Ever since Hannibal Lector got a part-time job at Subway's people have been wondering what's in their tuna sub.
•The New York Times hired scientists to conduct DNA tests on tuna sandwiches at Subway this week and discovered they contained absolutely no tuna. The story doesn't end there. Maury Povich did a DNA test on the same sandwiches, and found that they belong to a guy named D'Andre.
•John McAfee, the Libertarian and creator of the world's most famous anti-virus software was found hanged in a Spanish jail, but no one's buying suicide. His expertise in hacking and firewall penetration made him literally the man who knew too much. John McAfee did not un-install himself.
• McAfee antivirus software founder John McAfee was found hanged in his Spanish jail cell by apparent suicide Tuesday. He had a foundational knowledge of computers, e-mail security and knowledge of hacking. So the question is, how much dirt did John McAfee have on the Clintons?
• Japan's Emperor expressed worry over the Covid danger of tourists to Japan for the Olympics to enjoy the nation's culture. Tokyo is the site of the Meguro Parasitological Museum, the only museum in the world tasked to the study of parasites. They should move this museum to Washington.
• The Atlanta Constitution reports that an IKEA store in Atlanta has apologized for serving fried chicken, watermelon and collard greens on Juneteenth. It gets better. IKEA was going to hold a press conference for the apology, but they couldn't find an Allen wrench to put the podium together.
• The Detroit Daily News reported that Juneteenth celebrations in Detroit last weekend turned violent. It detracts from the holiday's importance of slavery emancipation. Conversely, white people celebrated a combined Juneteenth and Father's Day by freeing Britney Spears from her father.
• Paul Mooney was honored in a memorial in Hollywood Wednesday. He was an outrageously funny black comic who if alive would lacerate the venality of today's protestors. BLM raised ninety million dollars last year but the only place you can see where any of the money was used is on Zillow.
• Portland police complained on Fox News of no prosecution against the rioters who have been marauding, looting and burning the city's downtown area. However it's starting to backfire on the lawless mobs. With all the statues torn down, the pigeons are now forced to poop on the protestors.
• Britney Spears stood in Los Angeles Court on Wednesday and accused her father of enslaving her by his conservatorship over her money and by his drugging her to calm her down. Joe Biden signed an executive order naming Free Britney Day a national holiday. Hallmark already has a card. • The New York mayor primary eliminated some well-known Democratic hopefuls Tuesday and set the stage for the runoff. At the airport, I snapped my head toward the TV when I overheard a CNN anchor declare that Yang is Out. I just assumed Jeffrey Toobin was on camera and set to report. • President Biden gave a nationwide speech Wednesday in which he vowed to crack down on gun proliferation. I thought Joe made a political mistake when he announced he was going after the ghost guns. It could infuriate the three million ghosts who voted unanimously for him last November. • Fox News interviewed police chiefs from around the country who said police morale was never lower due to the lack of prosecutions. Many young cops in L.A. are taking early retirement from the job. After two or three years of free cocaine, you really need to go away and get your head on straight. • The CDC reported that corona virus was still taking a deadly toll in South Asia and Southeast Asia due to vaccine-resistent variants. It's a struggle. The Times of India reports that Indians are getting eight million shots a day, but it was their choice to live in Chicago, New York and Los Angeles. • The Nixon Library in Yorba Linda is hosting an exhibit marking the fiftieth anniversary of America's War on Drugs. The war was declared by President Nixon in June of 1971. Today our partners in Mexico will mark the anniversary with a moment of silence followed by hours of laughter.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
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© 2020, Argus Hamilton |
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