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Jewish World Review June 4, 2020 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
NASA published pictures of the two U.S. astronauts en route to the International Space Station after the Space-X launch. My brain is fried from earthly news. When the headlines on Sunday read International Space Station Captures Two Dockers I thought it was stealing tennis shoes.
• New York Mayor Bill DeBlasio sided with the rioters by his soft response to their damage on, saying they’ve struggled for centuries against oppression. However Governor Cuomo conceived a plan to end all the chaos on the streets of New York. He wants to put all the rioters in nursing homes.
• The Los Angeles Police said many of the looters will be arrested via facial recognition because the city is so camera-covered. One thing we know for sure. The rioters who looted the retail stores along Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills are going to be the best-dressed defendants the court has ever seen.
• Canadian television news reports the civil rights protests in the United States have spread into Canada as well. Canada’s prime minister Justin Trudeau, of all people, called for national unity in the wake of George Floyd protests. Every citizen will be issued blackface make-up.
• Secretary of the Treasury Steve Mnuchin was tasked to rebuild the economy after the two-month shutdown and riot damage. It’s a long climb back. The U.S. economy since March has depreciated like Coca Cola—first it had cocaine, then just caffeine, then it was caffeine-free and now it’s just Zero.
• Rand Paul complains the government is spending tax dollars researching the effect of cocaine on quail. Researchers take leftover cocaine seized in DEA raids and mix it in the quail’s bird food. People in Hollywood were mystified by the news, asking each other, what on earth is leftover cocaine?
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2018, Argus Hamilton |
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