•
Squatty Potty fired Kathy Griffin as their celebrity TV spokesperson Tuesday, a full day before CNN fired Kathy. It made sense for Squatty Potty to act first. That's because we all accept that we are now living in an era where a toilet company has higher standards than a cable news channel.
• The Hollywood Reporter assessed the career damage to comedian Kathy Griffin following the outrage over her posted photo Tuesday. It's bad. The Republicans are furious at her for holding up a mock bloody severed head of Trump and the Democrats are furious at her because it wasn't real.
• Hillary Clinton let it rip onstage at a tech conference in California Tuesday where she refused to take any blame for her election loss to Trump in November. She's clearly still on the warpath. Hillary Clinton just posted a photo online of her holding up the severed head of her campaign pollster.
• Hillary Clinton took questions from a tech panel onstage in California Tuesday. She blamed her loss on the Russians, Comey, misogyny, Fox News, Facebook and the DNC. Hillary won't pull into her own driveway if she sees a lot of cars parked out front, fearing that it's an intervention.
• The NBA Finals matches Kevin Durant and the Golden State Warriors versus LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. Lebron began his career in Cleveland, then played in Miami, then returned to the Cavaliers. He'll go down in history as the only person ever to move back to Cleveland.
• The University of Oklahoma golf team won its first NCAA Golf Championship in thirty years last weekend. The golf courses are very, very flat in central Oklahoma due to the Great Plains. You can stand on your front porch in Oklahoma and watch your dog run away for a long, long time.
• The White House insisted that U.S.-German relations are fine despite Angela Merkel's speech. The Chancellor of Germany declared that Europe should seek out its own destiny now that the U.S. and Britain can't be relied upon. Maybe she'd like to rely on Italy and Japan instead.
• The U.S. military on Tuesday fired an anti-missile missile from California that intercepted an incoming missile fired from the Marshall Islands. Everyone's happy about it. Of course it helped to have Tony Romo push the button that launched the incoming missile to make sure it got intercepted.
• A Harvard University medical study published last week discovered that eating six chocolate bars every day reduces a person's chances of contracting heart disease. We can eat our way to immortality. Soon, the only way an American is going to die is if he chokes to death on a Hershey Bar.
• Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg called for a national salary in a commencement speech at Harvard Saturday. We're all his slaves. Being on Facebook is just like being in prison-you spend a lot of time alone, you write on walls, and you get poked by people you don't know every night.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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