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Jewish World Review June 8, 2015 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• President Obama gave interviews to newspapers in Israel last week to assure Israelis that despite his pending nuclear deal with the Iranians, he remains a staunch supporter of Israel. Obama declared that he's the closest thing to a Jew that ever sat in the Oval Office. Is everybody transitioning this week?
• E! Entertainment TV announced that its new series which follows Bruce Jenner as he transitions into Caitlyn Jenner will be called Call Me Cait. That left the fans really disappointed. Nationwide polls show by a huge margin that the Americans want the series to be called Upstaging the Kardashians.
• The Clinton Foundation was reported Thurday to have taken millions of dollars from an Africa church which considers gays to be devils. Next year's election promises to be the closest ever. As of this morning, the number of Clinton scandals and the number of GOP candidates are tied at ten apiece.
• Texas former governor Rick Perry announced in Dallas on Thursday he's running for the GOP nomination for the U.S. presidency. It's been reported that he met his wife back when they were in elementary school together. There was another boy who also liked her but Rick Perry had him executed.
• The Pentagon admitted that live samples of anthrax were shipped from a U.S. Army lab to labs in seventeen other states plus the District of Columbia on Friday. Results were swift. ISIS announced that they're withdrawing all their terror cells from the U.S., saying they simply can't compete at this level.
• President Obama's job approval ratings hit a new low of forty-one percent Friday, tying his all-time low mark. This could help him on Capitol Hill. If any Democrat refuses to vote to grant him the authorization to negotiate a Pacific free trade deal, he can threaten to campaign for them next election.
• President Obama awarded Medals of Honor to two dead World War I soldiers Tuesday, claiming that they'd been denied medals because one was black and one was Jewish. It never ends. The nice thing about fighting Germany is, you don't have to be perfect in order to occupy the moral high ground.
• Fox News reported Thursday that a Mississippi high school principal is charging four parents with disturbing the peace for cheering at the graduation ceremonies. It ruined a lot of community goodwill. The students had just voted the wrestling coach Most Likely to Become Speaker of the House.
• The Ronald Reagan Library will host an exhibit on life during the Cold War this summer. Life was so carefree then. Sure the world was threatened with annihilation every day by the risk of nuclear war between the U.S. and the Soviet Union but you were in and out of the airport in five minutes.
• The AP reported that Kansans are being plagued this week by the reappearance of the Cicada bugs. The red-eyed bugs come out of the ground every seventeen years to make a huge racket night after night, lay eggs and die. It's nature's way of telling Baby Boomers we didn't invent the Disco Era.
• The NBA Finals got underway between the Golden State Warriors and Cleveland Cavaliers. The finals series by tradition always ends by Fathers Day. Fathers Day is the day when NBA players traditionally relax in their easy chair, light up a cigar and take telephone calls from all over the country.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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