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Jewish World Review June 17, 2014 / 19 Sivan, 5774 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• President Obama underwent his annual physical exam with the White House doctor last week. There was just one thing wrong. During the exam, the doctor saw the news from Iraq on his office TV and gave Obama a prescription for a pill to cure his premature evacuation.
• Sunni terrorists looted four hundred million from a bank in Mosul on Friday. The Sunnis refuse to live under Shia rule and the Kurds insist on autonomy. It would be in America's interests for Iraq to split up into three countries--Regular, Unleaded and Unleaded Supreme.
• Al-Qaeda offshoot fighters threatened to capture Baghdad Friday after capturing Mosul, Tikrit and Fallujah. It's due to political weakness. We need a strong leader in Baghdad who can keep a lid on Iraq and keep extremists out of the country, but unfortunately, we hanged him.
• O.J. Simpson's fans on the freeway during the car chase twenty years ago included people who partied with O.J. during the Disco Era. Everyone in Los Angeles who ever snorted coke with O.J. was amazed at how fast he chopped up the lines. Somehow they knew he was in training.
• Forbes reported Friday that Charlotte Hornets owner Michael Jordan is worth one billion dollars. Last year it was half a billion. However, he just wrote that growing up he hated white people, and under NBA rules if an owner expresses any racial prejudice it doubles the value of his team.
volved into one.
• Donald Trump was ripped by Chicago's mayor for putting his name Trump in twenty-foot high letters on the side of his new hotel. Of course he did. If Donald Trump were homeless on the streets, he'd be pushing a grocery cart with a cardboard sign on it that read Trump Cart.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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