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Jewish World Review June 10, 2013 / 2 Tamuz, 5773 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
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New York slapped a warning label on sugary fruit and energy drinks Friday. They're trying to make it criminal to be overweight. It's only a matter of time before the U.S. Senate hears testimony that the IRS has been pressing Weight Watchers groups for names.
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The IRS admitted spending four million dollars at an Anaheim conference that included suites, spa and luxury dining. They said they don't know the exact amount because they did not keep the receipts. That excuse didn't save Al Capone and it's not going to save the IRS.
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Olympic star Lindsay Vonn was forced to give a urine sample to a World Anti-Doping Agency agent during a fashion awards dinner she was attending in New York Tuesday. It's galling. The IRS just called the World Anti-Doping Agency and asked if they do Republicans.
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The NSA was revealed Friday to have recorded all phone calls made in the U.S. on Verizon in the last two months. What's the big surprise? In the last two elections, polls showed Americans felt that Barack Obama was the candidate who was most likely to listen to them.
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Florida retiree Gloria MacKenzie was identified Friday as the holder of the winning ticket in last week's Powerball Lottery, giving her the jackpot of five hundred and ninety million dollars. She is is eighty-four years old. For crying out loud, she's set for life.
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Dallas Ft. Worth Airport announced they will rent out soundproof hotel rooms by the hour in the DFW terminal. This is where airport security has taken us. If two people congregrate in an airplane lavatory, it's considered a terror cell and the flight is aborted.
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The TSA dropped its plan to allow passengers to carry small knives Thursday. They were just trying to be fair. The TSA didn't think it was sporting to have people groped for their underwire bras and knee replacements and not have a knife to defend themselves.
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The Miss World Pageant announced Thursday it has banned bikinis in next month's pageant because it's being held in Indonesia where it's Muslim. Who scheduled the pageant there? They're going to use sarongs instead of bikinis, and as soon as the word gets out, they're going to use public service announcements instead of paid advertising.
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Google announced Thursday that Google Glass will not allow pornography apps on the Internet-connect glasses. This is completely unfair. if you're in a Google driverless car and wearing Google Glasses it's nobody's business what you're doing in the back seat.
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Keith Olbermann was hired by TBS Thursday to anchor their Major League Baseball fall playoff coverage. He has lost previous gigs at KCBS, ESPN, MSNBC, Fox Sports, NBC Sports and Current TV. Keith Olbermann has been fired more times than a Civil War cannon.
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President Obama welcomed the Baltimore Ravens to the White House Wednesday to salute them as Super Bowl winners. He was so grateful they were able to come. The president's been hit over the head by three scandals in three weeks, and under NFL concussion rules the team had to come to him, because he's not allowed to go on the road.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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