|
|
|
Jewish World Review June 21, 2012/ 1 Tamuz, 5772 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
President Obama was reported Monday planning to legalize marijuana in October to mobilize young voters to vote for him. The administration is furious. Someone leaked the story before Warren Buffett could finish cornering the world market on frozen burritos.
Guantanamo Bay renovated the prison holding America's captured terrorists. They got a new gym, soccer fields, cable TV, pool and free medical. Al-Qaeda is already telling prospective recruits that the cable TV package is the next best thing to seventy-two virgins.
The Group of Twenty dinner in Mexico had Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin seated at the same table. It was tense. After dinner when the toastmaster asked for a few words from the onetime communist and ruthless assassin, they both stood up and started talking.
Pew Research said Asians became the largest U.S. immigrant group this week, passing Hispanics. They're very successful. President Obama heard the news and said that all children who arrived from Asia through no choice of their own need to pay their fair share.
Senator John Kerry agreed Sunday to play Mitt Romney in presidential debate rehearsals. He'll be no help at all. Mitt Romney is not going to answer every question in the debate by pointing out how many medals he won in Vietnam.
Fox News said two Oregon men will fly four hundred miles in two lawn chairs that are tied to large balloons next month. There's one snag. The TSA can't allow them in the air unless someone gropes them before liftoff and charges them eight dollars for a bottle of water.
John Edwards was reported Tuesday to be considering returning to politics in North Carolina. Don't bet against him. Any man who can talk a widow out of a million dollars and use it to hide his pregnant mistress from his dying wife while running for president, then convince his jury he did nothing wrong has, what we call in Los Angeles, good people skills.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
Columnists
Toons
Lifestyles | |||||||||||
