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Jewish World Review June 13, 2012/ 23 Sivan, 5772 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Wal-Mart was sued by pension funds Monday after the retail chain paid millions to bribe Mexican officials to speed up store openings. The approval process was tortuous. However, after three Americans were arrested for making crystal meth in Wal-Mart bathrooms with ingredients off the shelves, the cartel gave its okay for the store openings.
Commerce Secretary John Bryson crashed his Lexus into a Buick that was waiting for a train to go by in L.A. Sunday. He apologized to the victim then crashed into the Buick again. It just demonstrates how hard it is to run U.S. trade policy and text at the same time.
Attorney General Eric Holder appeared headed for a contempt of Congress citation on Tuesday. He won't share his e-mails of the operation. Those e-mails contain the identity of major cocaine traffickers, and nobody with a donor list like that shares it in Washington.
Democratic Party activists ripped a Mitt Romney ad that concedes President Obama is a cool guy. They said calling him cool is racist. When that news broke, Georgia's Ku Klux Klan announced that Kool and the Gang will headline this year's Fourth of July picnic.
The Federal Reserve said a U.S. family's net worth fell forty percent since 2008. That's seven trillion dollars in home equity. Mitt Romney plans to ask Americans during the presidential debates if they are in deeper over their heads than they were four years ago.
The Commerce Department was petitioned to declare Arab-Americans a disadvantaged minority group. They're a wealthy group but they want minority business loans. It'd be worth it if they'd agree to stop flying commercial so we can all just get on the plane and go.
Prime Minister David Cameron and his wife left their little daughter at a London pub Sunday. Each parent thought she was in the other limo. The next day the FedEx delivery man brought the little girl a gift from her parents and a survival kit from Chelsea Clinton.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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