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Jewish World Review June 24, 2004 / 5 Tamuz, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | Donald Trump announced Tuesday he is selling an old seventy- two story office building in lower Manhattan for four hundred million dollars. This will not surprise you. He is leaving it for a younger building with a cuter abutment.

The Associated Press sued the Pentagon Tuesday for President Bush's National Guard records, which are stored on microfilm under lock and key in the sealed-off basement of the Texas State Library Commission. They will never see that file. It would take Gordon Liddy to break in and get those records and he's on Bush's side.

John Kerry campaigned in poor neighborhoods last week to call attention to the injustice of poverty. Afterwards he went to his wife's estate on Nantucket Island. They wouldn't lower the drawbridge until he told them he was the pizza guy.

Bill Clinton began his bookstore tour in New York on Tuesday where he signed thousands of books for his fans. He's under very heavy protection. The metal detector goes off every time a woman walks into the bookstore wearing cheap earrings.

The Supreme Court limited a patient's right to sue an HMO in a ruling handed down on Monday. No one likes the court meddling in medicine. Americans don't want their medical decisions made for them by judges, they want them made by accountants.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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