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Jewish World Review June 22, 2004 / 3 Tamuz, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports

And now for the
important news .... | Around the World in Eighty Days bombed at the box office last weekend. Disney never should have updated the Victorian era fantasy. Audiences walked out when halfway through the picture, a terrorist takes over the balloon and twists it into a poodle.

Hank Williams is profiled tonight in a PBS documentary called Honky Tonk Blues. He was a songwriting wizard at combining beautiful tunes with catchy lyrics about love gone wrong. Picture Harry Potter turning a paper and pen into a twelve-ounce Coors.

Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11, out Friday, says President Bush used September 11th to start an unnecessary war against Iraq. Mideast film critics are raving. They say this is the most romantic movie they have seen since When Harry Sold Sally.

The New York Post depicted Bill Clinton as a street-corner prostitute in its editorial page cartoon on Friday. He can't sue because he's a public figure. About the most he can do is threaten to cancel his personal ads if he doesn't get a retraction.

John Kerry ended a week of campaigning on behalf of the less fortunate by going on vacation to Nantucket Island. That's more like it. John Kerry believes that to fight poverty, you have got to be willing to get in there and get your hands dirty.

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