Clicking on banner ads enables JWR to constantly improve
Jewish World Review June 14, 2004 / 25 Sivan, 5764

Argus Hamilton

JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Michael Barone
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
James Glassman
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
Kathleen Parker
Wes Pruden
Sam Schulman
Amity Shlaes
Roger Simon
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports

And now for the
important news .... | George Herbert Walker Bush parachuted out of an airplane Sunday to celebrate his eightieth birthday. The jump is called an accelerated free-fall. Apparently he's tired of hearing everybody say what a tremendous impact Ronald Reagan made on this planet.

Bill and Hillary Clinton were seated on the front row during Ronald Reagan's funeral when television cameras caught them nodding off to sleep during one of the eulogies. No one could believe it. It's been years since they slept together.

Tony Blair slumped in his pew at the Reagan funeral Friday looking awful. It wasn't his day. That morning Michael Moore said he's going to make a film examining Tony Blair's role in the war in Iraq, that night the Labor Party lost big at the polls, and now his wife Cherie wants to tell him something on the Jerry Springer Show.

Las Vegas dimmed the lights Friday in honor of Ronald Reagan's performances there fifty years ago. The town previously dimmed the lights for Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. and Jack Kennedy. Las Vegas wanted to honor Ronald Reagan so that wherever these guys are they will have a designated driver to get them home.

Southern California drivers halted their cars Friday to honor Ronald Reagan's motorcade as it passed by. Traffic reporters could not believe that the entire Ventura Freeway had turned into a parking lot. It never moves that fast on a Friday.

Bill Clinton will be honored at the White House today with the unveiling of his official presidential portrait. His long- awaited memoir comes out in two weeks. The chapter on his Vietnam experiences is titled Montreal on Twenty Dollars per Day.

The Los Angeles Times poll Thursday shows John Kerry upped his lead while he was in California last week. He said nothing and made no public appearances and was not seen on television. He must have just signed with the William Morris Agency.

John Kerry calls affordable health care a basic American right in his latest television ad. It's a view born of experience. When John Kerry got the bill for his prostate surgery last year he understood why the doctors were wearing masks.

Bobby Knight agreed to a three-year extension on Thursday to remain at Texas Tech. He isn't just popular for basketball. People all over West Texas put on safety goggles and look toward Lubbock every July Fourth to see Bobby Knight go off.

Donate to JWR

Appreciate this writer's work? Why not sign-up for JWR's daily update. It's free. Just click here.

Argus' Archives

JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

© 2002, Argus Hamilton