Ask Wendy

Jewish World Review May 22, 2003 / 20 Iyar, 5763


Destructive do-gooders?; party politicking


By Wendy Belzberg


http://www.jewishworldreview.com | Q: A group of young men in our community have started something called The Chevra --- the mission of which is to perform good deeds 24 hours a day. It is like Hatzala, but instead of saving peoples lives they bail people out. Among the good deeds they perform are unlocking people's car doors and fixing flat tires. The local locksmith says this will cost him $30,000-$40,000 a year. Is this a reason for The Chevra to stop?

A: Do you hail from Chelm? Is there really a community where residents lock their keys in their cars with such regularity that the locksmith relies on this business for his livelihood? Hasn't anyone in your community heard of a wire hangar? Moreover, unless they number in the hundreds, The Chevra cannot possibly cover all parking lots and streets. Do they also break down doors, dynamite safes and replace locksets? These are do-gooders, not vigilantes. I say let them continue on their righteous path. Even the locksmith may be happy to see one of The Chevra the night he finds himself on a deserted stretch of rode with an empty gas tank.

Q: My brother and sister-in-law invited me to a party at their home, on one condition: that I not tell any other family members that I was attending. They said they were hand picking the list and neither my parents nor other siblings had made the cut. I want to go but I don't feel comfortable being asked-implicitly--to lie. What do I do?

A: Is short-term enjoyment really worth long-term duplicity? I don't know what relationship you have with the rest of your family, but if this feels uncomfortable to you, you have your answer. If not, don't hesitate. There is no rule that says have one, have all. And there is nothing duplicitous about being choosy. Can't you imagine throwing a party and inviting only certain member of the family? It has been known to happen, and without ruffled feathers at either end.


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© 2002, Wendy Belzberg