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Jewish World Review June 9, 2003 / 9 Sivan, 5763
James Lileks
America's new mission was and remains: Extirpating the flaming nutballs and the societies that nurture them
As many have pointed out, we haven't found Saddam Hussein either,
but that doesn't mean he didn't exist. We haven't found his doubles --
although it's possible they're all concealed with masks, passing
themselves off as understudies for the Baghdad production of "Phantom
of the Opera."
Nor have we found the sons. Supposedly one of them is in the Baghdad
suburbs, negotiating for his surrender, but that could be one of the
son's doubles. We may open a sewer grate some day and a hundred
Udays will pour forth like the myriad Agent Smiths in the recent "Matrix"
movie.
Does the failure to find WMD mean we were handed a sack of lies?
Nope. The administration was clear from the get-go: Iraq was part of the
Axis, and the Axis had to go down. Each part would be sundered as
circumstances permitted. The destruction of the fascist regime in
Baghdad would be the object lesson for the region, the proof that
America had a new mission: Extirpating the flaming nutballs and the
societies that nurture them.
Of course, that was not how the war was sold. Because the
administration sought U.N. approval, the issue became enforcement of
U.N. resolutions -- and those had to do with disarmament. Because the
Bush team sought a greater moral legitimacy, it also phrased the war in
terms of liberation, and removing a government with ties to terrorism.
Good reasons, all. But the invasion wouldn't have happened without
Sept. 11. George W. Bush's Iraq policy would have been another round
of sanctions, scowlings and pinprick reprisals. You want to blame the
war on someone, blame Osama bin Laden.
Oh how nice, you say. Look, we were told that Iraq had weapons of
mass destruction, Saddam was a threat, Paul Wolfowitz rescued Jessica
Lynch using a Jedi-Knight lightsaber. Lies! All lies! Storm the White
House with pitchfork and torches, friends -- it's impeachment time!
Calm down. Would the Republicans be harping on the WMD issue if
Clinton had invaded Iraq -- and found nothing after six weeks? Probably.
In the '90s they had the same political tin ears as the Democrats have
today. There was a time when Bill Clinton could have been
photographed sacrificing goats in an Oval Office Black Mass, and he
would have gotten a pass. The Republicans would have worked
themselves into a goggle-eyed fury -- People! Don't you see? Goats!
Upside-down cross! Brimstone all over the carpets!
Same thing here.
There is little political capital to be gained with the vast
middle-of-the-road electorate. The Bush-haters would be convinced that
secret Halliburton operatives planted any WMD the allies find. The
pro-Bush side claims they really aren't bothered by the absence of large
caches stamped SMALLPOX -- FOR EXPORT ONLY, but they are
quietly rooting for the inspectors to find something besides the two
Winnebagos of Death so far uncovered.
The middle of America, those who could vote either way, have moved
on. Job well done; mission accomplished. The relatively low death toll,
the subsequent discovery of mass graves, the horror stories now
pouring forth, and the overhyping of all the postwar travails have left
them in no mood to carp.
Press them on the issue, and they believe the WMD will turn up
somewhere. Under the sofa, perhaps. Maybe they rolled under the
fridge. Weapons of mass destruction, car keys -- they're always in the
last place you look.
In the long run, it's not what we don't find in Iraq. It's what doesn't
happen.
No more mass executions. No new prisons for children. No bonus
checks for the families of Palestinian suicide bombers. No Terrorism 101
classes at Salman Pak. No electrodes applied to the daughter of a man
who talked to CNN. No daily potshots at allied aircraft. No sudden sluice
of fear in the hearts of the Kurds when the government trucks appear
on the horizon. No miserable thuggish satrapy in the middle of the
Middle East, thumbing its nose at the United Nations and the United
States.
Come election time 2004, the Iraqi oil proceeds will not be going to
secret Swiss accounts named Chick Daney and Ronald Dumsfeld.
They'll be going to the people of Iraq. We won't be arguing about losing
the peace in Iraq.
We'll be arguing about losing the peace in Iran. But that's another story.
For another presidential term.
06/03/03: The Constitution as gag order
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