Jewish World Review June 26, 2003 / 26 Sivan, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
Smith College voted to eliminate all female pronouns from
school information pamphlets and curriculum. It's an all-girls
school. The only question left is, which Democrat will be the
first candidate to refer to women as Estrogen-Americans?
Scotland Yard apologized for the security breach at Prince
William's birthday party. A guy who looked like Osama bin Laden
walked right into the room. This crowd is so wealthy that a $25
million reward isn't worth the effort of a phone call.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix broke all records
Tuesday. In the next book, the boy will probably wind up at
Oxford. The Supreme Court just ruled it would require all his magical
powers and more to get a white male into the University of Michigan.
The Supreme Court said affirmative action is permissible as
long as colleges employ no specific or numeric quotas. Diversity
is very valuable. Students need to learn they can get just as
hammered on Black Russians as they can on white wines.
President Bush spoke at a two-thousand-dollar-a-plate
Republican dinner on Wall Street Monday. He raised four million
dollars in one meal. He's keeping a promise he made to the
American people that he would make corporate wrongdoers pay.
Nick Nolte must go back to court after he was seen drinking
in San Francisco last week. His probation is threefold. In order
to stay out of jail, Nick Nolte agreed to stay in the area, attend
12-step meetings and read the judge's screenplay.
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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