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Jewish World Review May 11, 2021 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Nancy Pelosi noted the ninetieth birthday of legendary San Francisco Giants star Willie Mays Friday by posting a photo of herself with Willie McCovey. But no one is doubting she's a good Democrat. The framed picture of President Obama in her office is signed, Best Wishes Nancy, Denzel.
• The Labor Department said the U.S. added only a quarter million jobs in April, down from the million new jobs economists predicted. The report came out Friday. It looked bad for Biden, but then after midnight six million jobs came in, and now the U.S. is at three hundred percent employment.
• The Wall Street Journal reported that corporate boards are hotly debating whether to follow the leads of Coca-Cola, Delta and Major League Baseball in accommodating company policies to woke causes. This just in, Hershey's can no longer sell chocolate kisses. No explanation necessary.
• California Governor Gavin Newsom hinted he may completely re-open the state in the middle of June. Life is pretty much back to normal in L.A. Caitlyn Jenner's campaign announced for governor while Kylie Jennie is still wondering exactly what do you get for your Dad on Mother's Day.
• Mother's Day packed restaurants with much-needed business Sunday despite woke grumbling that it's sexist. A Michigan congresswoman called for Mother's Day to be eliminated entirely. If that happens, then the only recognition this country will give for giving birth will be the Breeder's Cup.
• Taco Bell executives announced five thousand job openings last week while also reporting that Taco Bell intends to add numerous new restaurant franchises in New York City. A healthy meal always stays with you long afterwards. Taco Bell stays for seven years in your stomach's credit history. • The Weather Channel reports residents along the Eastern Seaboard are annoyed by buzzing noise made by trillions of Cicadas that came out of hibernation this week. I say let them make all the noise they want to make. The Cicadas are happy to get out after seventeen years of lockdown. • Forbes magazine quoted environmentalists Thursday who recommended hemp clothing, saying hemp is sustainable and comes from the earth. I refuse to wear any clothes made out of hemp. I'm afraid if one day, I happen to be on fire, the firemen will just stand around and enjoy the contact high. • The Pentagon reported Sunday it tracked the falling forty-six thousand pound Chinese rocket that fell out of orbit and began hurtling to Earth Sunday. No one knew where it would land. It finally splashed down three hundred miles off the east coast of India, in the Bin Laden Family Ocean.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2020, Argus Hamilton |
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