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Jewish World Review May 19, 2020 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Fox Sports play-by-play announcer Joe Buck warned NFL fans that if NFL games don't have spectators this year, Fox may add CGI fans as well as recorded crowd noise. That's the final straw. I think I'm going to call my old girlfriend and ask if that offer to slap me into next year is still available.
• New York's governor kept citizens in lockdown all week as California extended their lockdown order until September. Illinois vowed to jail social distance violators. Democratic governors agree that we should not re-start the economy until there are absolutely NO risks…of Trump getting re-elected.
• The Wall Street Journal noted some public hostility to CNN's decision to add teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg as a virus advisor to CNN's COVID-19 special. Many thought CNN was exploiting a seventeen-year-old girl. For the entire two hours, Hillary made Bill watch Fox News.
• Barack Obama addressed seniors with a chip on his shoulder Saturday. Obamacare is gutted, his Paris Climate deal dropped, his Iran nuclear deal dead, and his role in the FBI spying on the 2016 Trump campaign questioned. Obama was last seen at a Subaru dealership, looking for a Legacy.
• Senator Bernie Sanders appeared on the Sunday talk shows and said he believes the majority of his supporters will go for Joe Biden. That's if his health holds up. Joe Biden is reportedly suffering from exhaustion from all the campaign traveling he's doing--going up and down the stairs.
• Joe Biden got good news from CNN's poll giving Joe a six-point lead over Trump with much of it from young voters. It's no surprise that Biden is polling well with the Millennial voters, because they relate to him. He moved into the family basement and there's no sign he's ever going to move out.
• Fox News reports that edicts by health officials and Democratic governors have roused liberty-demanding protestors against the lockdowns. With the virus threat receding, cable news media is now whipping up fear of a second wave. We must all stay inside until nothing bad ever happens again.
• The Illinois Public Health Department reported only fifty-one deaths from COVID-19 Sunday sparking demands to re-open. They're going step-by-step. Chicago residents have been urged by their mayor to please observe proper social distancing by shooting, rather than stabbing your victims.
• Nancy Pelosi pushed a relief bill through the House laden with liberal wish-list items. It'll never pass the Senate. It was fun to watch Members of Congress on the floor of the House voting for a three trillion dollar spending bill while wearing face masks. At last, some honesty.
• Major League Baseball introduced a plan to open up the baseball season if the MLB Players Union signs off on the plan and the pay plan. The season would open up on the Fourth of July weekend at Dodger Stadium. The CEO of Google will be on hand to throw out the First Amendment.
• President Trump accused President Obama of committing treason against the United States by overseeing a silent coup attempt in 2017. The case can't be tried. Very quickly, Obama squelched any attempt to try him for treason against the United States by pointing out that he was born in Kenya.
• Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti doubled down on his stay-at-home orders Thursday, saying it may last through July. From what I've seen in my neighborhood, home quarantine will end in one of four ways. You'll come out of this either a monk, a hunk, a chunk or a drunk. So choose wisely.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2018, Argus Hamilton |
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